• Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    20
    ·
    2 months ago

    I hope not. I usually walk quickly, with purpose. I hate these types that can best be described as “waddling”. Just like a sloth cosplaying as a duck. And somehow they manage to just stand in doorways, and block isles. Meanwhile I’m in my head thinking “HEY FUCKFACE!!! MOVE YOUR FUCKING ASS!!!”

    And then I wonder if I might have anger management issues. Then I realized I haven’t punched anyone in a really long time, so that’s close enough to managed anger. So that means these wastes of space really are that annoying to walk behind. Shopping doesn’t have to take 2 hours. You can be in and out in like 10 minutes. You just gotta know what you’re buying, and where it is. But then these types just…exist.

    So I just want everyone to know, that if you could lose a race to a snail, I want you to know that everyone hates you. If you’re going to walk this slow, just get a mobility scooter. Maybe you’ll be faster on wheels. Which means out of my way faster. And really, that’s the ultimate goal here, right? Getting everyone out of my way. I think that’s a goal everyone should work towards. That, and finding someone willing to bring me cheese regularly.

    I really like cheese.

    But also, I’m not gay. I had no idea speed was gay? Then again, I don’t notice these things. I’m always the last to know if someone is gay. I didn’t realize Richard Simmons was gay until 1995. I got made fun of for not knowing. And that’s how I found out.

    • lightsblinken@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      4
      ·
      2 months ago

      imho you are describing managed anger, next step is to zen away to anger in the first place - it does sound slightly above average, all caps is just bad news bro. anyhoo - you can do it!

    • 1D10@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      1
      ·
      2 months ago

      I had a friend back in the day who loved Rupaul, they got so mad when we tried explaining drag to them, refused to believe us. But one day they just stopped talking about how sexy Rupaul was. Some folks just don’t have “gaydar” as long as noone gets hurt it’s all ok.