We were meeting for a catch up, last few times I saw her I was doing a kindof unconvincing boymode but this time I just showed up as myself and dropped the news on her.
She was pretty great all things considered. Huge relief. Feel like I can move on now. I’m out with all my friends, I’m out at work, so she was the main hurdle I needed to get past before I could just start living my life freely. I’m really glad it’s done.
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Oh congrats, that’s awesome!
Good job girlie! So happy for you 😊
🩵🩷🤍🩷🩵
Congrats! ฅ>⩊< ฅ
I am so glad that went well for you. Always a very stressful moment especially with a family member. Good for you.
Congratulations! I’m glad it went so well for you! 🥰
If you don’t mind sharing, what did you actually say? I desperately want to come out to my family and just be done with it all, but every time I try to think about how I’d do it, I just have no idea how I’d even start. If you want to keep it private though, totally get it, and no worries at all!
I’m happy to talk about it but I suppose it all depends on your specific relationships and what your famy members are like. I had some specific worries about my mum but I wasn’t worried she’d be mad or disown me so I started from a place of relative safety.
I agonised about sending the news via text before we met up, with all the happy pictures of me etc, so it would be less of a shock. But I decided that I didn’t want her to have all that in her head without me properly talking to her for a while, in case she span out about it.
So I decided to just show up dressed like I usually dress now, and just hit her with it in person. I tried to be kindof funny in the opening line, but she was just kindof stunlocked and being really weird. So I just said “you realise what’s happening here right? This is me coming out to you as trans”.
I knew she’d be worried about the medical side so I talked her through how I was being safe with my medication, getting blood tests regularly etc. I talked about how I need her to allow me to come out in my own time to the rest of the family and not to out me to anyone and she agreed to that. I told her about how transition has cured a lifelong depression, how it saved my life and how I actually want to live to old age for the first time in my life now.
I made it clear that this is what I need and that I will never stop or go back and she just took that on board. I also told her how I’ve been the target of near constant street harassment, sexual harassment, violent threats, slurs and abuse every time that I leave the house. Because I want her to know how bad things are for us in this country and actually feel angry about it. I told her that despite all this I’m the happiest I’ve ever been in my life. She was very worried for me but also understood that the alternative (living in the closet) was not an option.
On the way home I noticed she’d changed the name of our group chat with my girlfriend and her, and changed the picture to one of the new ones I sent her. She did that without me asking. I’m very proud of her for that.
Thank you for sharing! The bit at the end about changing the group name and photo made my heart glow a little 😊 Your mom sounds pretty cool
Also you might like this post https://stainedglasswoman.substack.com/p/how-to-come-out-anywhere
Thank you!
That’s great you hear, congratulations!
Good work! Wish my mom was as good as yours.
Really feel for all of my siblings who have a worse time with their parents. This is why found family is the greatest gift.
Glad that being yourself is going well!
