And no, please dont suggest homeless shelters, those are just unsafe and very demoralizing.
The very first thing I looked for (and forgive me for this, this is gonna be a controvertial one here) is the military, because thats just what lots of reddit threads mentioned, and like it would be an immediate exit from a toxic household, and yes, that would mean enduring an institution thats also kinda toxic, but thats only a few years and you’re free, and its much more predictable. Except they dont accept anyone with depression and you have to prove you’re “fine” for probably 36 months to even get a waiver. So that’s crossed off as an option.
Jobcorps, well thats for low income families, and being a dependent means your parents income is what counts so i dont qualify
Americorps NCCC, well that seems seasonal and the next thing doesnt start till like months later (not sure if I’m even reading the website correctly)
Ngl I lowkey just thought of enlisting so once I finish that, next time we meet, I could stand in front of my toxic brother just staring at him menacingly, like whatcha gonna do, fight with an ex-soldier? Not to mention the prestiege of veteran status. And btw its only 1% thats acrually ever gonna face real combat so its not like WW1&2 trench warfare, its mostly just logistics, and like a civillian job, you’d be contributing to shareholder value anyways so there isnt really much of a “moral highground” either way, except working a retail job or some shit is very demoralizing but military has the reverance. And also
But anyways I’m not eligible anytime soon anyways. I doubt I’m even “manly” enough for it.
Bruh idk what to do really, you know that one movie, Parasite where like they work in a rich person’s mansion and that shit. I’m not a fan of rich people but like I lowkey wanna like just “housesitter” and chill in some nice mansion with great views, and maybe even find secrets and become a movie plot. (edit: okay this part I’m half joking, its more like a fantasy daydream of “I get to be in a movie plot” probably unrealistic for someone that never been in proximity of high wealth)
I’m in Philly, PA btw.
(Also should I pack light with just a backpack and just one or two change of clothes and laundry often or just carry every clothing I could fit in a suitcase?)
Not to mention the prestiege of veteran status.
You might be surprised how little valor actually exists. Sure, people might “thank you for your service.” There’s basically zero other upside. And people like me will resent you for furthering empire. Read “War is a Racket,” by Smedley Butler. It’s short. Basically a pamphlet.
I doubt I’m even “manly” enough for it.
Fuck that shit. They let women in the military, so how manly do you have to be.
I’m sorry that I don’t have advice in the direction you’re asking. I recognize hopelessness because I’ve been there a fucking lot. I don’t know your situation, but I can tell that you want out. The best I have for you is a promise that it can (not will) get better. Stick with it. It’s fucking hard. Keep going. There’s sometimes no point. I promise that you can be happy. Just fucking keep going. I don’t know you, but I love you and hope you make it.
Nuker. Got a nuke plant nearby?
80k a year white training isn’t unheard of, two years training, get RO, then SRO and you’re pulling down 200k. Plant dependent. Union plants obviously pay significantly better than non-union plants (like, +50% better). Certification is plant specific, so pick your plant carefully.
You need a GED and to pass the POSS test. POSS is basically the SAT for power plant operators. If you do shitty, you can get a job in a coal plant. If you do okay, you can get a job in an oil plant. Do well, they’ll let you work in a nuke plant. Test is very focused on basic mechanical concepts.
“I work with nuclear materials” is definitely a good icebreaker xD
But then you go to a bar and people be like “oh be careful, I heard he’s radioactive (literally)” 💀
Start an apprenticeship as welder. Welding is lucrative.
Military is the fastest means to your end. As for the depression bit, you’d have to fake it until you make it.
Jobcorps in Philly doesn’t have living spaces. If you were to give it an attempt, you would have to move to a different facility that does offer living assistance.
A bit slower but more likely is going to be joining a trade. Carpenters claim to want more members, but they’re kind of terrible with keeping people working, plumbers usually need people, electricians definitely need people, and the masons have the deepest need for workers.
Unethical advice: look on Craigslist or other job seeking site for a canvassing job. It’s much easier if it’s political. They will sometimes give a list of addresses, residents age, political affiliation. Look for an elderly lady 70+, and do your canvassing thing, ask if they would possibly have a room you’d maybe be able to use/rent in return for your help around the house. Explaining whatever your going through briefly may help.
Apprentice programs in your area for plumbing or electrical. Oil field work, PA still has a lot of jobs in coal that will eventually pay well
It seems like you are just shooting down every idea that people try to provide. Based on your responses, I’m going to assume you’re in your late teens or early 20s
I was in the military, and you absolutely should not enlist if you’re doing it for some sort of prestige or bragging rights. What the military is really great for is teaching young people a lot of skills, very quickly. But its not without its shortcomings. If you have depression, I would say look into something else because it is not an easy career field and it will likely take a major toll on your mental health, just like it does for everyone.
What I would suggest is using your situation to learn. You said you’re not in any sort of immediate danger, so it just sounds like your personality doesn’t mesh well with the others in your household. Unfortunately, that is a part of life. You’ll always meet people that you don’t see eye to eye with. Learning how to deal with those people and interact with them is an important life skill. Tough it out for a while, get some sort of education in a trade that interests you, and then move out. I have a friend who is in his mid 30s that has had pretty bad social anxiety and general anxiety his whole life. He just started a trade school program, and he’ll be done within a year. If you’re serious about getting out, work a shitty part time job, live at home for a while, and work on a trade school program. The time spent at school and work means you won’t be at home much, and before you know it, you’ll be working a much more fulfilling job.
Most states have some sort of workforce development program to help you find a career. Pennsylvania has a program called CareerLink. I would highly suggest starting there.
https://www.pa.gov/agencies/dli/programs-services/workforce-development-home/pa-careerlink-
If you have diagnosed depression/anxiety, you may even qualify for a special program to assist individuals with disabilities.
You aren’t going to completely change your entire life over night. Have a little patience, put in the work, and it will pay off before you know it. Good luck.
Pick a trade at a community college and get to it.
Or go get a help desk job (as you said you want to do IT) and start learning on the job. Pay will be shit. Hours will be long, but you will learn and you will start networking and you can rise through the ranks. A lot of us who are making 6 figures started out doing help desk.
You gotta do your time in the trenches.
Have you heard of WOOFing? You can get room and board at farms all over the world to go help out with their crops or whatever they need. It’s not always farming and it’s often a cool community!
Dunno how to give you advice. “Want out immediately, but not so immediately as to be homeless” and “military is kinda appealing, but there might be a waitlist if you have depression.” And “I dont want to do demeaning minimum wage jobs” all kinda conflict with one another. Also, the fuck you worrying about prestige for? That’s ridiculous, either get in the house or get out. Prestige ain’t got shit to do with it.
Also, the fuck you worrying about prestige for? That’s ridiculous, either get in the house or get out. Prestige ain’t got shit to do with it.
Cuz my older brother (he’s like 29 and we still live together) keeps shittalking me and say shit like “you’ll never be good enough for anything, maybe you should just be a janitor” cuz he has a college degree. (Even though he only has a normal job and never got to use the degree and the job isnt even degree related.)
I have multiple degrees and your brother is a dickhead. Also, janitors are important, anyone looking down on them is a fool.
Some universities even give you a tuition waiver if you work there full time, even as a janitor. Good way to get a degree, benefits usually aren’t bad either.
I remember being a kid and teachers telling us stuff like “you’ll end up as a garbage man” only years later to find out unionized garbage men make more money than public school teachers.
They definitely make a decent amount in most places.
And they find some pretty cool shit people toss away.
You probably could teach English in Korea. It’s a bit of a cost upfront but you get a place covered and your investment of training will be paid off fairly quick. You don’t even have to learn Korean. It’s fairly cheap get by unless you’re a booze hound like me.
Yeah about that… I think basically most countries that are stable will require a college degree. South korea require a bachelors degree.
I looked into Taiwan and you still need at minimum an associates degree just to teach at private “cram schools”
Its kinda weird tho, they make you go through hoops but its still feels like a “gig” job what what I’ve read.
So, I don’t have the link on hand but there’s two tiers. If you can speak, read, write you will get to teach regular schools. Then if you have a teaching degree, you get more money and you can teach in the I guess higher schools. I mean I plan to do this when I retire, if there’s a world left lol
Have you looked into working with the National Parks? A lot of their entry level positions only require a HS level education, and many parks offer employee housing. I’ve heard it’s quite competitive (both for jobs and for housing) but it’s still worth considering. State parks, DNR, BLM, etc. might be an option too depending on where you live.
In my experience garbage collection tends to pay very well relatively and requires no special education. It is taxing on the body though so not something for the long long term. Though this may be different in the US
Yay, getting poked by random drug needles sounds fun! I love Philly!
But serious tho, I rather do retail and have a face off with a “karen” than doing that
- I did it myself for 3 years in a drug-heavy areawhile working on my comp sci degree. didn’t touch a needle in the trash once. (+ You should be wearing at least basic protective gear. And you touch mostly trash containers, not like you’re swimming in people’s trash)
- yeah it’s a nasty job with early hours. That’s the point. Nobody wants to do it, law of supply and demand -> it’s an opportunity to make a good living.
- I’ve scrolled in this thread a little and you can find a reason for every single job why you can’t/don’t want to do it, especially the ones that will allow you to stand on your own. You’re talking about wanting your story to be one of overcoming adversity? Well you’ll have to accept living in adversity. Maybe it’s time to look at the job opportunities you can find and evaluate if you prefer doing those + living in e.g. a small appartment of your own over being stuck in your shitty home situation.
Most big cities use drivers for everything nowdays. The driver operates the front or side mount lifts on the truck and never touches any waste. And they do make bank.
You could look into WWOOFing. Basically participating owners of small farms provide you 3 meals a day and a place to sleep in return for helping out about half of every day. Seems like a decent option until you can get your feet under you, and would afford you enough time (the second half of the day) to figure that out.
Granted, in the winter you’ll have fewer options (animals and greenhouses mostly).
WOOFing is for rich college kids who have a nice home to go back to after their ‘adventure’, not GED holders who need to work to support themselves.
Why? It seems like a lot of farms just love free labor, but, sure, I don’t doubt there’s some implicit classism there. Get dreaklocks, a tatoo, and a septum ring and you might be passable without a college degree.
There’s an easy short-term answer: Temp agency. It’s stressful because you don’t know if you have work until the last minute and half your coworkers will be horrible, but it’s work that requires nothing more than a pulse.
You could also see if the sports arenas are hiring. They may be mostly staffed for the season now, but they pull a lot of workers and tend to lose a good chunk each year. Best bet for stability would be kitchen, warehouse, etc since those work both between events and on event days.
From reading your responses, I don’t think you should concentrate on moving out. Take the opportunities your privilege allows (e.g. having shelter and food) to work on yourself from that safe location. I would go to therapy and discover why youre feeling like this and in the meantime, do some work in a store or something. It’s menial, sure, but it’s something. If you feel like it, you can give your folks some money to feel like you’re contributing.
I did therapy with 2 separate people, one was a 1st-gen Mandarin speaking lady with a weird accent (for context I’m also ethnically Chinese), another was a white male. Neither helped.
I had medications from a General Practitioner, Lexapro and Sertraline or something. And then later Wellbutrin/Buproprion combined with Hydroxyzine for sleep and anxiety. Nothing really helped but the hydroxyzine did suppress anxiety for a bit but it also makes me tired af and kinda brainfog.
So I just ghosted them and stopped taking the medications.
I think people in Philly, and perhaps most big cities, have this weird attitude against their “paitients” (aka people they wanna milk money from)
And no giving them money wouldnt feel like contributing. Commingling of assets and then they would only tell you how much they “love” your and “omg we sacrafises so much”, and any money you give them would only be repaying a debt that you’ll never be able to finish paying, the debt of my birthmother giving birth to me and raising me for 18+ years. So… my desire was a clear boundary, both financially and physically. Even just for a a few months to maybe 2 years (and maybe beyond that)
Like I dont mind using their house as a temporty stop in between different seasonal gigs or something, but i dont wanna stay for long. I want a “safe space” that no parent, no sibling, no drugaddicts or burglars, would be able to breach into.
If you’re fluent in both get an interpreter certification. In healthcare and probably some other high reliability industries we’re not yet at the point where TTS / STT and ai translation can fully interpret yet. Specialty languages like Mandarin take a long time to connect so there’s probably a shortage (I know it’s got the most speakers worldwide, but the most common 2nd language in the US is Spanish). It’s also a telework job, it’s almost entirely done by phone / video call these days. You might need to brush up on medical terminology specifically and the finer points of exact translation but if you already know the language that’s probably not a huge leap. I’m thinking that’s going to get automated in the next 5-10 years but it should get you out nowish which sounds like the goal.
Any seasonal picking jobs you could donin the local area. Maybe getting outside and doing some work under the sun might help too.
Look, life is an ongoing struggle to find the thing that is right for you. Even then it will always be a compromise you make with yourself. You have only tried 2 therapists. That isn’t enough. Maybe you get lucky with your first but if one isn’t working for you, you try someone else. You might find a different kind of therapy works better for you but you need to try. Look into Better Help and see if you can get a match on a therapist that would suit your needs more. But please, go back to therapy. For you.
I could say almost the same thing about your meds too. You need a better prescription - talk to your GP about how your current meds make you feel and you can both tailor it to what you need.
Work on yourself mentally before you do anything else. It is your foundation. You can’t run away from your mind, it comes with you so it’s best to get it sorted out first. The fact you acknowledge you have some issues in that area is great - you know there’s a problem and that’s a major first step on your road to success. But you need support, and there’s no need to make the future harder by removing some of the support network you currently have.
Do you speak Mandarin? Doesn’t China have some kind of program for “re-immigration” of people of Chinese descent? I recall reading articles about young adult unemployment being even worse there, but that may have been focused only on college grads looking for college level work, rather than a strong young body willing to work a factory and stay in company housing.
I’m ideologically opposed to PRC so its not really an option. On top of that, it’s also a lot harder to find jobs and I have first hand account of work conditions being way worse, its the entire reason why my parents left. Also no unions, strike action is technically illegal, not as much worker rights and protections. Not as glamorous as the media portrays it, dont be mistaken, its not even by any means socialist.
Edit: Oh btw did you know, once you start to be around a certain age, and some have said that this could be as low as 35 or so (or perceived to be over that age), you will get discriminated heavily when trying to find work. In contrast, the United States has anti discrimination protections so that discriminating by age (against those 40 or older) is illegal, so if they have like 100 employees and its all 20s or early 30s, its a lawsuit. Theres no anti-discrimination protections like that in China. If you break a leg sometime in the future, oh boy, you’re gonna have a rough future. Accessibility is not great.
The culture is also very “pull yourself up by the bootstraps”, but Chinese Edition.
