#Pixelfed just overtook #Lemmy as the 4th most used #Fediverse software. Here’s the raw numbers in terms of total users:Pixelfed: 474,151Lemmy: 470,716Pixelfed is moving close towards overtaking #P...
I just got called a rapist! For asking wtf she was wearing, fashion wise. (On a non rape story just to be clear). I also wonder why I’m still here. Y’all need to be better.
Looking at the comments, I can see how your comment got misinterpreted. I do believe you had no such intention, but the way it was worded (especially the last word, ‘anyway’) makes it sound out of context as if you were victim blaming. And from the number of votes, it’s obvious many see it that way. Rather than get mad at randos on the internet, why not just reflect that you might have written that in a somewhat confusing way, and clarify it? Without escalating.
I can see. But if people have a choice to interpret something as 1) that a question about fashion is in fact an innocuous question about fashion, or 2) that he’s obviously a rapist and victim blaming and I’m going to call him a rapist (when the entire tone of the thread and community is not serious), the problem that I see is that Lemmy is quick to misinterpret in the worst way possible.
And oddly enough, he was the person to escalate with that accusation, and I was the one to explain it.
if people have a choice to interpret something as 1) that a question about fashion is in fact an innocuous question about fashion, or 2) that he’s obviously a rapist and victim blaming and I’m going to call him a rapist (when the entire tone of the thread and community is not serious)
That’s on the assumption that the reader sees both possible meanings, though. Most people don’t do that, the first meaning that comes to mind is the one we go with. It’s a very rare person that will, without external prompting, go ‘I wonder if he meant something else?’.
And oddly enough, he was the person to escalate with that explanation, and I was the one to explain it.
From his POV, you had already escalated. Yeah it was due to his misunderstanding. But at that point you were the one with a choice as to whether to nicely explain your actual original meaning, (and maybe edit the confusing line?) or just rage about everybody on Lemmy being quick to assume the worst. Nobody’s the asshole here, it was a misunderstanding, but you could have chosen to make it better :)
Yeah as expected I went and checked the comment in question and you are definitely misrepresenting it. You are omitting the context of the post, which is like…the entire fucking problem.
The amount of times I see people go “I was banned for literally no reason!” and the like only to discover they’re not being exactly truthful is staggering.
The context of the post: 196 which is essentially a shit posting and take nothing serious community. Yeah that context. And that it was a straight question about what she was wearing, fashion wise since you really need to hear it. So thank you for demonstrating the exact problem!
Reaction? If you see a simple question in a shitposting community, with the image of a fashion choice that is unconventional, and think “Hmm should I interpret this as a question about fashion as he asked, or should I interpret this as he’s a rapist and trying to be clever about it”, if you default to thinking that the other person is obviously a rapist (as you seem to have, saying that I’m seeking plausible deniability and try to associate me with Musk and trying to be clever with rape lol), then holy fuck, and frankly that’s on you. That was your reaction. Like you have to really out there to default to “he’s obviously a rapist”. You need to be better.
Honestly this is the perfect example of how Lemmy has a ravenous need to misinterpret. You just did it yourself.
This is such a reach dude. Also her outfit is far from “unconventional.“ But I’m not gonna get bogged down in the weeds of that one.
I remember somebody tried to talk to me recently about the economics of the third Reich without talking about the war. At some point you’re just ignoring what’s in front of you to the point where it’s dishonest.
You’re having a very real principal Skinner moment here. A lot of people are telling you the issue, yet you are hell bent on hiding behind intention. Unfortunately intention is not enough. Especially when you double down in the face of valid critiques.
I know you don’t want advice from me but I’m going to give it anyway: take a beat, step away from this conversation, then come back and think about why people may have had a negative reaction to what you said. There is an important lesson here you can pick up if you want to.
It’s a reach that something can be interpreted as it was stated?
I can retrospect. Hopefully you can too because I’m going to hold up the mirror. All of the following is your thinly veiled actions (plausible deniability anyone?).
First, thinly veiled, you likened me stating people misinterpreted my question to how people are banned typically after really going off on mods. Whether you agree or not on people misinterpreting a question, those things are miles apart. Second, you, thinly veiled again, likened me to Musk. Do I need to explain the negativity of that association? Third, you, again thinly veiled, essentially said I was covering making rapist comments by trying to have plausible deniability. Fourth, you, again thinly veiled, essentially said I was covering making rapist comments by saying I was trying to be clever about it. And the doozy, fifth. Again thinly veiled, you liken me to people talking about the third Reich. Like wow. If that Nazi connotation from Elon wasn’t enough, you really pulled out a doozy there. That is a crystal clear pattern of you attacking people by likening them to other people. All thinly veiled connotations so that you can later say you didn’t actually make the connection (you know, plausible deniability). Or maybe you were doing it so that if I said anything, you could say “are you interpreting differently??” like a gotcha. I could explain that one too, maybe next time.
You took every chance you could to provoke, slap, and escalate. You are no longer trying to have a conversation when try to liken someone to Nazis, you just want to slap. Don’t worry I’m not provoked. I just urge you to think about that.
And inb4 misreading I’m saying this not because I’m provoked or mad, I’m saying this because your pattern is clear. You want me to reflect, and I want you to reflect.
LMAO see I was being polite and giving you a small out, and you said “no no no I was being very rude” as if that helps you. Oh god. And then you say “humble yourself” lol. Wow you need to look in the mirror. Open your mind and look in the mirror. With fresh eyes, and look in the mirror.
You were just joking around, right? Well, perhaps they were too. If you want it assumed about you, perhaps go ahead and assume it about then. That way, even if the former does not happen, at least you will definitely have the moral high ground regardless. Now, what was it that Obi Wan always says about the high ground…? :-P
LOL no I wasn’t joking around (about rape or anything else). It was a legit, straightforward question about fashion. And no he wasn’t joking, it was a pretty clear accusation.
This place just needs better moderation. I’ve said this multiple times before but there is a serious lack of moderation and most admins go dark for long periods of time. Make it clear this behavior isn’t okay, ban people who run their mouth, and remove low-effort posts.
I just got called a rapist! For asking wtf she was wearing, fashion wise. (On a non rape story just to be clear). I also wonder why I’m still here. Y’all need to be better.
Looking at the comments, I can see how your comment got misinterpreted. I do believe you had no such intention, but the way it was worded (especially the last word, ‘anyway’) makes it sound out of context as if you were victim blaming. And from the number of votes, it’s obvious many see it that way. Rather than get mad at randos on the internet, why not just reflect that you might have written that in a somewhat confusing way, and clarify it? Without escalating.
I can see. But if people have a choice to interpret something as 1) that a question about fashion is in fact an innocuous question about fashion, or 2) that he’s obviously a rapist and victim blaming and I’m going to call him a rapist (when the entire tone of the thread and community is not serious), the problem that I see is that Lemmy is quick to misinterpret in the worst way possible.
And oddly enough, he was the person to escalate with that accusation, and I was the one to explain it.
Where did someone call you a rapist? Was it removed?
That’s on the assumption that the reader sees both possible meanings, though. Most people don’t do that, the first meaning that comes to mind is the one we go with. It’s a very rare person that will, without external prompting, go ‘I wonder if he meant something else?’.
From his POV, you had already escalated. Yeah it was due to his misunderstanding. But at that point you were the one with a choice as to whether to nicely explain your actual original meaning, (and maybe edit the confusing line?) or just rage about everybody on Lemmy being quick to assume the worst. Nobody’s the asshole here, it was a misunderstanding, but you could have chosen to make it better :)
If someone can’t see what the literal words say then… there are bigger problems. Which may actually explain things.
It’s odd that you think I raged. I observed.
Yeah as expected I went and checked the comment in question and you are definitely misrepresenting it. You are omitting the context of the post, which is like…the entire fucking problem.
The amount of times I see people go “I was banned for literally no reason!” and the like only to discover they’re not being exactly truthful is staggering.
TbF I’ve seen plenty of wildly inappropriate bans on Lemmy too.
No one said they never happen 🤷♂️
The context of the post: 196 which is essentially a shit posting and take nothing serious community. Yeah that context. And that it was a straight question about what she was wearing, fashion wise since you really need to hear it. So thank you for demonstrating the exact problem!
You know I just read an interesting piece about how Musk deploys plausible deniability - or rather attempts to. He thinks he’s clever and he isn’t.
I know what 196 is. The context is the image. You really can’t see any reason why you got that reaction? Really and truly?
Reaction? If you see a simple question in a shitposting community, with the image of a fashion choice that is unconventional, and think “Hmm should I interpret this as a question about fashion as he asked, or should I interpret this as he’s a rapist and trying to be clever about it”, if you default to thinking that the other person is obviously a rapist (as you seem to have, saying that I’m seeking plausible deniability and try to associate me with Musk and trying to be clever with rape lol), then holy fuck, and frankly that’s on you. That was your reaction. Like you have to really out there to default to “he’s obviously a rapist”. You need to be better.
Honestly this is the perfect example of how Lemmy has a ravenous need to misinterpret. You just did it yourself.
This is such a reach dude. Also her outfit is far from “unconventional.“ But I’m not gonna get bogged down in the weeds of that one.
I remember somebody tried to talk to me recently about the economics of the third Reich without talking about the war. At some point you’re just ignoring what’s in front of you to the point where it’s dishonest.
You’re having a very real principal Skinner moment here. A lot of people are telling you the issue, yet you are hell bent on hiding behind intention. Unfortunately intention is not enough. Especially when you double down in the face of valid critiques.
I know you don’t want advice from me but I’m going to give it anyway: take a beat, step away from this conversation, then come back and think about why people may have had a negative reaction to what you said. There is an important lesson here you can pick up if you want to.
It’s a reach that something can be interpreted as it was stated?
I can retrospect. Hopefully you can too because I’m going to hold up the mirror. All of the following is your thinly veiled actions (plausible deniability anyone?).
First, thinly veiled, you likened me stating people misinterpreted my question to how people are banned typically after really going off on mods. Whether you agree or not on people misinterpreting a question, those things are miles apart. Second, you, thinly veiled again, likened me to Musk. Do I need to explain the negativity of that association? Third, you, again thinly veiled, essentially said I was covering making rapist comments by trying to have plausible deniability. Fourth, you, again thinly veiled, essentially said I was covering making rapist comments by saying I was trying to be clever about it. And the doozy, fifth. Again thinly veiled, you liken me to people talking about the third Reich. Like wow. If that Nazi connotation from Elon wasn’t enough, you really pulled out a doozy there. That is a crystal clear pattern of you attacking people by likening them to other people. All thinly veiled connotations so that you can later say you didn’t actually make the connection (you know, plausible deniability). Or maybe you were doing it so that if I said anything, you could say “are you interpreting differently??” like a gotcha. I could explain that one too, maybe next time.
You took every chance you could to provoke, slap, and escalate. You are no longer trying to have a conversation when try to liken someone to Nazis, you just want to slap. Don’t worry I’m not provoked. I just urge you to think about that.
And inb4 misreading I’m saying this not because I’m provoked or mad, I’m saying this because your pattern is clear. You want me to reflect, and I want you to reflect.
Thinly veiled? I was very blunt my friend. The pattern is honesty and advice. Take it or leave it.
Humble yourself. Take a beat, come back to your original comment with fresh eyes and an open mind.
LMAO see I was being polite and giving you a small out, and you said “no no no I was being very rude” as if that helps you. Oh god. And then you say “humble yourself” lol. Wow you need to look in the mirror. Open your mind and look in the mirror. With fresh eyes, and look in the mirror.
You were just joking around, right? Well, perhaps they were too. If you want it assumed about you, perhaps go ahead and assume it about then. That way, even if the former does not happen, at least you will definitely have the moral high ground regardless. Now, what was it that Obi Wan always says about the high ground…? :-P
LOL no I wasn’t joking around (about rape or anything else). It was a legit, straightforward question about fashion. And no he wasn’t joking, it was a pretty clear accusation.
I’m so confused.
This place just needs better moderation. I’ve said this multiple times before but there is a serious lack of moderation and most admins go dark for long periods of time. Make it clear this behavior isn’t okay, ban people who run their mouth, and remove low-effort posts.
Strong agree. Maybe we should start calling out communities with inactive mods. Like a spring cleaning of communities.
Could be a pretty easy flag to be displayed on any community. Basically last time the mod logged in or was active (should be available).
Don’t even need that, I know a few that could be used
I personally have seen much worse overmoderation than undermoderation.