- cross-posted to:
- usa@midwest.social
- cross-posted to:
- usa@midwest.social
Summary
Edward Coristine, a 19-year-old DOGE staffer recently promoted to a senior adviser role in the State Department, is reportedly the grandson of former KGB spy Valery Martynov.
Martynov was executed in the Soviet Union after being exposed as an FBI informant. Coristine, an alleged former cybercriminal, previously worked in the General Services Administration and now has potential access to sensitive diplomatic data.
Concerns have been raised over his background and apparent lack of a security check.
The situation fuels fears about foreign influence in U.S. government operations.
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Even if this stupid asshole isn’t related to a KGB spy…WTAF:
recently promoted to a senior adviser role in the State Department
He’s a FUCKING TEENAGER. The guy cannot even legally drink. Cannot rent a car.
Shocker
Surely the fact that he’s 19 and a senior advisor in a state department is more damning than his lineage? And that Trump is very obviously friendly with Putin?
I think this familial connection is just a storm in a teacup which is sitting inside a much larger storm.
U know what I was doing at 19 years old? Nothing…nothing that counted as work. I won a bacon eating contest at college and played a ton of Mario Kart 64.
And that was very responsible of you. Wish more people would be participating in bacon eating contests over actively making the world a worse place. Please play video games and go have harmless fun. It’s better for society.
Surely the fact that he’s 19 and a senior advisor in a state department is more damning than his lineage?
Well firstly, it is the media, they love to sensationalise so they came up with this attention grabbing headline.
And that Trump is very obviously friendly with Putin?
At first I thought both simply have the same ideological inclination, and the speculation that Putin has a kompromat on Trump is a meme. Now, I am increasingly becoming convinced on the latter. Not even Mussolini bent this low to Hitler.
Big Balls looks like a Connecticut boat shoe that came to life.
I know it’s a long shot, but I so want sanity restored and people like him rounded the fuck up and charged with breaking into government systems.
I want the legal system to wipe that fucking smug look right off their faces.
He looks like a half dressed toddler. Nice of him to give everyone an immediate visual cue for what they’re about to deal with, I guess.
Maybe musk will start carrying him around.
That’s a wonderfully specific yet accurate description. Up you go.
Sporting that bussin’ broccoli top 🥦
“had to do it to 'em”
How the Hell does someone have a background as both a cybercriminal and a GSA employee at 19? I mean, sure, you can be a cybercriminal as an adolescent. But why is the GSA even hiring anybody that young at all?
[slightly off topic]
I’m a native of the Northeastern United States and I’ve lived in numerous areas depicted in the media as being under the influence of ‘organized crime.’ To wit, Harlem, lower Manhattan, Hell’s Kitchen, and Staten Island.
Actual tough guys never have nicknames like ‘Big Balls.’ Never. The guys you fear have names like ‘the Chin,’ or ‘Bumpy,’ or ‘Legs.’ Al Capone’s buddies called him ‘Snorky.’
South Shore Shaolin?
I’m pretty sure it comes from his twitter handle or something like that. I think it’s more irrelevant/childish humor and less serious than it’s made out to be. Plenty of people refer to each other by their online handle, and I don’t think it’s intended as a “nickname” in the conventional way. I have a friend whose UN is basically “dragonslayer42069” and people call him dragon. I don’t think he chose that name so his nickname would be badass or anything. I think he thought it was funny when he made it and people just happen to refer to him as dragon. Plenty of memorable vulgar UNs on microblogs and forums are just there for some immature fun.
You’re losing sight of the fact that he and his boss weren’t elected, haven’t been vetted by Congress, and have zero experience.
His name is the least of his problems.
That’s why my comment was [off topic]
Yeah street names are always an endearing insult
I worked in construction and we used radios to communicate between crews. One kid insisted we call him ‘AntDawg.’ His name was Anthony.
It’s started with ‘Labradoodle.’ He put up with that for two days before removed he didn’t wanna be Labradoodle. Everyone agreed it was too annoying over the radio, so we all agreed to shorten it. Doodle still hates his name.
Pilot’s nicknames / unofficial callsigns often are as well, some kind of back handed reference to a fuck-up or troublesome character trait.
Off topic but it reminds me.
Astronaut Chris Hadfeild wrote a fun little thriller I quite enjoyed. The Apollo Murders. If the words “Soviet space pistol” stir your blood, you might want to check it out.
Knew a pilot who’s nickname was über. Last name? Guay.
I remember watching a show about Canadian fighter pilots as a kid, one of them got the call sign “Blow” because his last name was Jobin.
There was a question on Reddit many moons ago asking fighter pilots what their callsigns were and how they got them. Not a single one was something to be proud of. The only one i remember off the top of my head was ‘Squishy’ and they got the name doing CAP over Iraq and had to use the bathroom in the cockpit…
The exception to that is one I read about a few years back about a carrier based pilot. Callsign was S T A B which stood for shit twice and bailed
I like that one, haha.
Had to ‘stabilize’ his bowels, rofl.
Maybe that’s what this is. Like calling a fat guy slim, or a tall guy tiny. Maybe he’s used to many steroids and actually shrunk his balls
Look at his photo… there’s no steroid use there. He’s just got a pair of undescended testes, they’re missing.
That’s horrifying, wtf happened?
A 23-year-old dubbed the Russian “Popeye” had three pounds of dead muscle removed after his DIY bodybuilding injections went awry.
Kirill Tereshin used petroleum jelly to build fake muscle mass in his arms. Before he underwent critical surgery, his arms were approximately 24 inches in diameter.
https://globalnews.ca/news/6198555/russian-popeye-bodybuilder-injections/
WTF I assumed it was a Photoshop
Surgery advanced
Lol, I didn’t say he worked out, just that he took the steroids. Probably thinking they’d do all the work for him.
Though your theory seems to have some merit.
Allegedly Elon’s chest shape is what happens when you take HGH and don’t exercise. Not a doctor or a bodybuilder so I can’t say whether that’s true, but if the shoe fits ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Big balls attacks again
You can’t even make this shit up…
America is Putins puppet. Musk is sitting in between getting richer while Trump does Russia’s wants.
Look at the Russian playbook. Look at the current U.S. playbook.
Insert image of “the office <they’re the same image>.jpg here.
It is so sad how fitting this image is and will be for the foreseeable future.
There is no fate but what we make for ourselves.
I don’t get this angle.
So his grandparent was someone who on being exposed to the American way of life converted to the American side, helped America, and was killed by the Soviets for it. And they’re what, worried this previous generations pro-American views will somehow influence the kid today?
Go with them being a cybercriminal thing, not some bizzaro sins of the father nonsense.
The angle is that the Overton window shifted so far right that the disagreement is now which foreigners (and secret, domestic foreigners) are to blame for the country’s decline.
It’s the kind of thing you’d have to disclose before getting a security clearance. And the FBI would be the ones to decide if it’s okay. Not Elon.
same but it’s still super interesting on its own. spy stories and such. but also these Dept of Gastroenterology guys are not looking so vetted or reliable.
For real, what are the chances he even met his Grandpa.
Zero.
This kid is 19 and the USSR collapsed 34 years ago.
I mean, I’ve seen several TV shows and movies that show that spycraft is definitely hereditary. That means that it’s definitely the case for big balls… Right?..
My thoughts exactly. 🙄 This is ridiculous non-news.
“Big Balls” huh. This is 100% the same situation as calling the dude that can bench a school bus “Tiny”.
Looking at a photo, this dude definitely has a pair of undescended testicles. They’re missing for sure.
He’s like a dog, but his balls never dropped.
Department Of Greddy Elon Asshole Spy…DOGEAS
There’s plenty to go off here, but this is a stretch.
My grandfathers were an RAAF pilot and a South African Navy man. None of that has anything to do with what I am. I’d be unprepared if people started attacking me about such topics as I know almost nothing about them.
Counter point: KGB spies trained for the long con, having families, naturalising, bringing their kids into the system.
In most other things lineage like that doesn’t matter, you’re right. But this one time…
In this case though the KGB agent was killed by Russia for being an FBI double agent. This is a weird angle of attack. I HATE “DODGE” and this kid almost assuredly shouldn’t be in the position they are, but for other reasons.
Oh shit, he’s got that KGB DNA in him!!
Is it a big deal? I have no idea. It’s just one of those details that you hear and you’re like, “Yeah that sounds like a likely thing to happen with these guys.” Yeah it is a stretch but it should be reported on. The article ends with ”Is it a big deal? I have no idea. It’s just one of those details that you hear and you’re like, ‘Yeah that sounds like a likely thing to happen with these guys.’”
Yeah, what this article needs is some facts to base itself on.
It could be a big deal, or also not. Nothing was presented to indicate much else, and conspiracy theories have never been much more than entertaining “what if” ideas, rarely factually pursued further.
If it’s a big deal, present the facts as to why, otherwise I may as well be a navy man and a pilot simply by being second generation born to that. I wish that were true. Love the sky and sea.
A literal spy in the US in this case, by the way.
Who defected, was super pro USA, and was killed by the soviets.
wtf are current events even lmao
