Heading back down the beach today to tackle the unmentionable plant.
Had a few run ins w/ ol’ girl over the last few days so time to give it a rest and let ol’ boy decide what’s next. Her weight has gone from 53kg -> 42kg over 5 weeks and I just cannot get that to turn around because of refusal. She has it all there, food, supplements, hubby is a doc, someone willing to cook whatever whenever. Makes me feel pretty bad that I just couldn’t do it.
So pretty much looking at a PEG (feeding tube into tummy bypassing mouth / throat). Sounds bad but it’s not really, the alternative is far worse.
Can’t win them all.
I’ve been in that situation and sometimes you just go a feeding tube. Because the whole physically eat mechanism is just…rooted. It’s not permanent (behold, my fat arse!) but I found during chemo that my whole desire and eating thing was just…no. And forcing it just made me feel sick.
oh gees
she must be so weak by now but still stubborn, ( does she even know what she wants and what she’s protesting? )
so many hugs
She does, so i cook it, then she can’t eat it or if she can she’s no where eating near enough of it. I think of something else and she doesn’t want it because she didn’t ask for it.
I really needed her to not refuse supplements as that’s the safety net.
Are there any appetite stimulants (ie medication) that might work? Or is it something else?
I’m sorry you and she are going through this
There are but it’s another layer of drugs that I’m not sure she’ll be receptive to. I think the main problem is her mouth and pain. She has a bunch of mouth numbing things but… refusal… grr.
Oh that explains it. If going for a tube a temporary nasogastric tube is an option that’s less scary or permanent than the abdominal stoma route.
It depends but thin strained soups can possibly go through the tube as long as the food is going to the stomach for digestion. If directly into the small intestine probably not
I meant her long term wants or is she just living in the now ? It seems to me she just wants to assert herself , have some way of having say so in her life, and eating and not eating is one way she can do that.
Maybe a way out of that is everyday ask her opinion about other things, that way she might be less defiant about food.
everyday ask her opinion about other things
We do. That’s one of the harder things with this non-amnestic MCI. She remembers everything, has her opinions, remembers what’s happening currently in the news. There’s an aloofness there that is difficult to overcome when in conversation.
The eating issues relate to a series of mouth ops in the past and now poor decision making about what she can (or will) eat. Only thing that slows that MCI business is eating and exercise. It’s basically compounding. Other thing with the MCI stuff is stress and anxiety. Ol’ boy and I are stressed about not enough food, makes her stressed, makes things worse. If ol’ boy and I aren’t banging on about food, she eats less which further… It’s fucked.
E: In terms of long term when asking her it’s day by day.
Would low pressure snacks like tea and biscuits be palatable? Egg custard? Creamy soups?
(Sorry if this is unsolicited advice. I seem to be giving a lot of it lately)
I’ll take any advice atm so please don’t say sorry I’m thankful for everyone here chiming in. She’s had so much of it from so many doctors. Was resetting her medicare app the other day and it’s just insane how many appts she’s had.
Creamy soups seems to be the only thing atm.
Maybe try mango slices, avocado slices - things that slide down easily and don’t need much chewing but still have plenty of nutrition.
That’s good. I’ve really been sticking my oar in lately.
Broccoli and cheese soup might be a winner? Can you put protein powder in? I found a thing https://thegeriatricdietitian.com/high-calorie-soups/
A soup mug/thermos mug with a sipping hole might make it easier than a bowl and spoon too, to hold in her hand and take an occasional mouthful. It will help her do it herself and keep it warm if she needs to take her time.
I’d also be delicately enquiring about any nausea, bowel troubles or quickly feeling full. Gastroparesis can happen after surgery and she could try pro kinetics if the doctor thinks it’s safe.
Does she have a dietician or a gastroenterologist? It’s unfair if you’ve been left to manage this mostly yourself.
Feels. Dis ain’t good. Long distance hugs and give that plant a smacking.
It occurs to me that the ancient ad - Did you have a good weekend? No, forgot the aeroguard - has an entirely new meaning now. This pleases me.
That sounds really tough on you.
I hope things will turn around for you and get better.
Oh that’s tough. She won’t eat but will consent to a PEG?
This is what really worries me. I suspect she won’t. Ol’ boys’ field so I’m staying out of it. I think that conversation is happening today.
Its a horrible spot to be in. She sounds incredibly strong and complex, and you’re all trapped in this cycle of trying to do the best for her.
You’ve got a great grasp of what’s going on with her, and realising when you need to stap back to protect your relationship and yourself.
There’s not going to be a single simple answer for her, she is driving the bus while ignoring her long term needs and the people around her trying to provide support and direction. A PEG may just be the answer though. She can get the nutrition she needs to function and heal, without all the other pressures around food intolerances and dietary intake. But they’re not great… they leak, they change what clothing you can wear because the surgeons always put them in the wrong spot on women, they need replacing and there’s trauma and pain with that… its a tough spot to be in. You’re doing an incredible job, if no one else is telling you that, we are.
Sincerely thank you for the kind words and your experiences. They are extremely helpful.
All the hugs… you’re doing an amazing job in a very difficult situation. Hopefully your mum will agree to a PEG or even NG tube, then when she feels better she might be able to eat more readily
I’ve got nothing to suggest that hasn’t already been suggested by those more knowledgeable and experienced in this thread, but I feel for you mate 🫂 Hoping things improve for you all.
Goodnight all ❤️
Night night!
Sky pretty
Sky pretty indeed!
and sun pretty.
When YL talks about moving out next year there’s a little part of me that gets excited inside.
More naked day drinking?
Oh yeah.
Pretty good day at work. Seems like my weekend actually recharged me.
So rare.
Yay. I feel the same after today’s work too - also rare on a Monday 🤗 maybe in part because im back to a reasonable start time, 830 this week and next. Feels so much better
Fuck yeah man! Here’s to a good start to the week :)
yay, good news 😊
Just about counting down the minutes this week. Holidays start as of Friday arvo, so I suspect this week is going to drag even harder than usual.
I ordered a 1.5 kg box of sour feijoa gummies from NZ. They are quite addicting. 🤤 I will pack them into little bags of 15 count each and keep them upstairs in the pantry so I’ll have to really want them. …lol
I bought a large pack of Haribo lollies. The weird thing is they didn’t make me nauseous like others do so I was hoeing them down by the handful. I’m good now for another 6 months I reckon.
The Source has vegan sour gummies, bring your own packaging and no weight limit.
it’s terrible
okily dokily
time to make today’s to do list
everything on the weekend to do list except buy and play Expedition 33 was ✅ Just too many tasks. I barely watched tv in about a month now ( tho I did listen to an audio book and have been listening to some science type pods )
I’m looking at my to do list and I have strong cbf’s
Am finally tackling mine after many past CBFs, and am now kicking my past self for not keeping better tax records
I have found my f’s, off to do some errands, bbs, luv u all 😘
Can you have a look for mine, please? I think they got left in the weekend.
Me too please, stuck at work for another hour and my CBF is sitting firmly on me.
hooting
🦉
🌕
Beep Beep 🚚
🍏🍎🍐🍊🍋🍈🫐🍓🍇🍉🍌🍒🍑🥭🍍🥥🥦🥑🫛🍆🍅🥝🥬🥒🌽🥕🥐🍠🫚🥔🧅🥯🍞🥖🥨🧀🧇🥞🧈🍳🥚🥓🥩🍗🍖🫓🍕🍟🍔🌭🥙🧆🌮🌯🥗🍲🍜🍝🥘🍛🍣🍱🥟🦪🍥🍘🍚🍙🐠🍤🪼🦀🐙 🍗🥮🍢🍡🍧🍰🧁🥧🍦🍨🎂🍮🍭🍬🍫🥜🌰🍪🍿🍯🥛☕️🍵🍺🍶🥤🧋🧃🥂🍷🥃🍸🍹🧉🔋Super dose of caffine.
💉
Cup of tea and a bikkie please chef.
☕️🍪
A stack of pancakes with maple syrup and cream please.
🍁🍯🥛
🥞
🥞
🥞
🥞
🥞
fruit salad and a cup of tea please chef
🍇🍎🍊🍌🥑🥭☕️
Bacon and egg sandwich with bbq sauce please. None of this funny wholemeal or seeded bread, just plain old white bread
okay moldy white bread
🦠🍞🥓🍳☄️🍯🍞🦠You always find a way, remarkable.
We are omnipotent.
Uni starts again next week and I am curled up in the fetal position, frantically scrolling through Seek for any job. Ideally, I want to give something in my field of study a go, so I’m looking around at that. But there’s the whole grass is greener thing. I shall sit with this uncertainty.
Part of me is considering starting a whole new bachelor degree, which isn’t the most viable option right now. It is so tempting though to do a complete 180.
I get that uni is a stressful prospect, but starting is new degree is NOT an efficient stress release mechanism. I’m serious - you need to finish the one you’re doing and THEN consider doing another. Waggles finger in rebuke.
Thanks. To make matters worse, I already have a degree that I haven’t really used, and is pretty useless on its own.
You’re studying education, aren’t you? Maybe you could get work as an education support worker at a school or something like that? You could probably contact schools directly to ask, and since you’re doing a related course that should help
Yes, I’m looking into it now! Cheers :)
I still have jet lag
☕️☕️☕️☕️☕️
I fibbed, I found no efs, i used to discipline to make myself do tasks.
maybe the ef I found was the long term goal.
