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Midnight@slrpnk.net to The Onion@midwest.socialEnglish · 2 days ago

Watchdog Group Downgrades U.S. From Democracy To Whatever Political System Lobsters Have

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Watchdog Group Downgrades U.S. From Democracy To Whatever Political System Lobsters Have

theonion.com

Midnight@slrpnk.net to The Onion@midwest.socialEnglish · 2 days ago
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WASHINGTON—Describing the shift as a troubling indicator for the health of the nation’s system of governance, watchdog group Freedom House published a report Wednesday downgrading the United States from a democracy to whatever political system lobsters have. “Persistent executive overreach and erosion of civil liberties mean that America now looks less like a traditional federal […]
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  • Tempus Fugit@midwest.social
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    1 day ago

    Is that better than crabs in a bucket? God, please tell me it’s better than crabs in a bucket.

  • scintilla@beehaw.org
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    1 day ago

    This is the only onion headline I’ve seen in months thay made me laugh and not feel even more existential dread. 10/10.

  • UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world
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    2 days ago

    Gleeful Jordan Peterson Noises

    • Trapped In America@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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      2 days ago

      Jordan is one of the Crab People. Stop being racist.

      • DragonTypeWyvern@midwest.social
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        2 days ago

        Are you claiming that Jordan Peterson is a self-hating Crab Person who believes in Lobster Supremacist rhetoric?

        I’m interested. Expand on your claim.

  • Wytch@lemmy.zip
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    2 days ago

    “Biggest Claw Wins”

  • Hellfire103@lemmy.ca
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    2 days ago

    Carcinisation strikes again

  • molten@lemmy.world
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    2 days ago

    I mean. They don’t systematically kill and enslave people so I think US is even lower…

  • aeronmelon@lemmy.world
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    Whatever political system lobsters have is far better than the American political system.

    • DragonTypeWyvern@midwest.social
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      2 days ago

      You and Jordan Peterson agree on that.

  • essell@lemmy.world
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    2 days ago

    Moult America great again

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