I made pizza today because of this post. I do have my pizza game dialed in, I’m just too lazy to do it most days.

Taking turns getting pineapple suppositories with Ronald Reagan, I hope. Fuck the Gipper too!

• Omar El Akkad

It’s like finding out that the captain of the airplane you’re on just let a removed 5-year old steer the plane and the psychotic, suicidal co-pilot just murdered the captain and has now locked the cockpit. Now we’re in a race to try and break into the cockpit before the psycho and the removed crash the plane.

That’s what happens when you cheap out on the wet food, Debbie.

Mamdani is the next Obama. He’s savvy, smart and says all the right things. If he hasn’t yet been coopted by the corporatists, he soon will be. I’m just saying manage your expectations.

Would fucking over Mamdani make Jon Stewart feel more filthy than pinning a medal on a Nazi? Or how about giving a tongue bath to two war criminals (Hillary and Condoleezza)? Jon Stewart isn’t the hero we thought he was.

I have always said that the horizontal cuts were useless, I’m glad the math backs me up.

Check your car between the seat and the door, or the seat and center console. This happened to me once, then a couple years later to a neighbor, so I was able to help him find his.

Signed, Tyler Durden.

Obviously run his ass over in a Walmart parking lot.

To be clear, I’m not against the Ukraine people, just their corrupt fascist government, just like us (the U.S.).

Yeah, thanks for the heads up Captain Obvious, now fuck off, sheepherder.

I got kicked off of Reddit for saying “fuck Ukraine” when some little bundle of twigs said they liked a certain Van Gogh painting because “it matches the color of the Ukraine flag”. That was in r/museum, where you’d think there wouldn’t be much political horseshit.

Give it a couple more years and they’ll be making Noah’s Ark and Golgotha play sets. Oligarchs have no shame about virtue signaling to whoever holds the brass ring.

It’s as if they are obstinately refusing to learn from their mistakes. Personally, I think their incompetence is feined, just like pro wrestling. It’s one big club, and you ain’t in it.

I got kicked off 2 years ago for saying “fuck Ukraine”, because some little bundle of twigs was quacking about how he/she loved the colors of a particular Van Gogh painting because the colors matched the Ukraine flag.

And poor people are theoretically smarter than zombies. Even conservatards occasionally. https://www.facebook.com/watch/?v=1518107286215389

Years ago I worked 2nd shift in a bindery at a medium-sized print shop. One day when I came in at 3 pm, the 1st shift straw boss announced that we had to get a certain job folded and boxed and ready to ship by 5 pm. The asshole who ran the folder on 1st claimed it was “all set up and ready to go”. It was not. So to add to the frustration of the situation, this one c*nt, whom her co-workers called “Pricess Smith” because she was fucking the married supervisor who’s name was Smith (no, not really), used to hide one of only two tape guns in her toolbox. So after wasting an extra 10 minutes looking for the one remaining tape gun (after 15 minutes finishing the set-up of the folder), we barely got the job folded, boxed and palletized in time for the truck driver to load and deliver it.

Later, once we had time to breathe, I was still feeling salty. I broke into her assigned plastic toolbox by removing the hinge. I took out “her” tape gun (not hers. just to be clear) and taped it up in a huge wad of tape, then put it back and put the hinge back on, and put the toolbox back where she kept it.

The next day, we heard that she cried about it and even went to the company VP about it. After placating her, according to one of the other supervisors, they all laughed their asses off.

Are you sure about that? Reddit is a fucking cesspool.