I don’t care about small businesses I just wanna make that corporate money so me and my kinda distant and self interested husband can buy a penthouse.

I’m sure nothing will cause me to have a Christmas themed change of heart.

  • ComradeSharkfucker@lemmy.ml
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    6 months ago

    Hey it’s me your hometown country bumpkin ex boyfriend. I own that muffin shop by the way and the muffins are great.

      • UmbraVivi [he/him, she/her]@hexbear.net
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        6 months ago

        Congratulations, Miss! As the mayor of Christmasville I’m honored to name you the winner of our annual sledding competition! Your prize is a romantic Christmas-themed dinner at a Christmas-themed restaurant for you and your +1. The perfect place for you to discover the meaning of Christmas.

    • Dessa [she/her]@hexbear.net
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      6 months ago

      Hey, it’s me, your less attractive but very funny best friend. Make sure to call me if your date goes poorly and you need surprisingly wise advice to get her back

      • FishLake@lemmygrad.ml
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        6 months ago

        Don’t forget to speak with a southern drawl and use lots of southern aphorisms despite living squarely in the midwest.