Happy birthday. The social pressure to just start singing sucks and i hate it
Fucking Staind. It’s Been Awhile is one of the whiniest piece of shit songs with the dumbest lyrics ever written. Louie Louie is Shakespeare compared to that song. It came out right around the time Clear Channel was barfing out Christian rock garbage and I’d rather listen to Creed telling me about Jeebus’s arms wide open a million times before I’d listen to someone repeat the same emo trash “I’m 13 and this is deep” line in a song 14 fucking times.
The one that goes “siiimply haaaving a wonderful Christmas time”
Not a single mention of Nickelback at this point
“Home” by Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros
After years of hating it, I’ve basically boiled my criticism down to the fact that it’s
Banal, saccharine, faux-folksy bullshit.
I’m pretty sure I’ve written that exact string of words dozens of times over the years whenever this topic comes up. But I’ll expand on it a bit.
It drags on for a little over 5 minutes, it’s too damn long for having no real substance
Half of the lyrics are just cutesy-sounding words with no real significance
There’s a weird spoken word bit in the middle telling a story that just kind of doesn’t go anywhere basically just “remember that time you fell out a window and I drove you to the hospital? That’s when I fell in love with you”
Why? Are you attracted to women who are bleeding all over your car? Do you get turned on by gravity? Did she say something funny? Did she at least look cute? There’s just no fucking payoff.
There’s not really even anything particularly interesting musically interesting going on there.
And what’s with the fake southern drawl? You’re from L.A. my dude. That’s Los Angeles, not Louisiana. And by the way “Edward Sharpe,” you forgot to even use that bullshit “alter-ego” name in this song, you’re not even keeping your own made-up lore straight, just drop the fucking act.
I’m pretty sure if I asked the crappiest LLM out there to write a “bullshit folksy love song for basic white teenage girls” it would spit out something better.
And for some reason the radio stations around me played this song to absolute death, not to mention my sister practically listening to it on repeat. It’s burned into my head and I absolutely fucking hate it.
Baby shark
Cotton-Eye Joe by Rednex makes me want to stab myself in the temple with a letter opener.
You know what? I love generally terrible pop music, and half this thread are songs I’ve listened to this week.
But god fucking dammit, if that Paul McCartney Christmas song comes on, it causes a flight response in me. My body wants me to run away.
Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go for a run blasting all these bangers.
Last Christmas
Mustang Sally can burn in hell. Fuck that song. Repeating a one line chorus for a million fucking years is not a god damned song, it’s a method of torture.
Man, it’s scary how many of these hated songs I like.
Jessie’s Girl. It’s very catchy, but the lyrics are about being jealous of your friend, and the description of the girl involved is just so ridiculously minimal - she has eyes she looks with, she has a body, and she loves Jessie. That’s everything single thing said about her.
Honestly, “Happy”. Not because of the song itself, thats completely fine, but my wind orchestra had an arrangement with the least inspired tuba voice I have ever played.
Butterfly by crazy town
Ain’t No Sunshine by all the fucking bands covering it and fucking it up. Absolutely hate that song.
Truly the Mustang Sally of this era.
