Proud to announce I have done the most thorough job possible splashing a muddy puddle up my leg. I nearly reached the groin. If you need any tips or pointers on how you too can achieve these results just reach out.
also, aim to walk on wobbly looking pavers in the path, these have icky muddy water underneath, a hidden puddle! When walked on they squirt filthy water up your pants. Extra points if it goes up your pants leg hitting bare skin. 👍
This leaves out the whole difficult question of treading on dog shit bags inadvertently. Some pop with explosive results, some just squirt sideways. Riding a bike over them also can have unpredictable results.
I once cooked roadkill kangaroo on the under carriage of my car. The smell was so bad I had to close the roof until I reached the next town. And I did have to clean it.
Proud to announce I have done the most thorough job possible splashing a muddy puddle up my leg. I nearly reached the groin. If you need any tips or pointers on how you too can achieve these results just reach out.
when walking walk as close as possible to the outer edge of the footpath, this ensures the big splashes from the road can reach you 👍
This sounds advanced but I’ll be sure to give it a go. Already worked out that tram sand shows up wonderfully on black pants when it dries down.
also, aim to walk on wobbly looking pavers in the path, these have icky muddy water underneath, a hidden puddle! When walked on they squirt filthy water up your pants. Extra points if it goes up your pants leg hitting bare skin. 👍
I apologise for my initial hubris. There’s clearly much more to learn.
Pedestrianism is a lost art.
This leaves out the whole difficult question of treading on dog shit bags inadvertently. Some pop with explosive results, some just squirt sideways. Riding a bike over them also can have unpredictable results.
TIL
I’ve driven over one. Not a pleasant experience. Luckily it was not me who had to high pressure the under carriage of my car.
I once cooked roadkill kangaroo on the under carriage of my car. The smell was so bad I had to close the roof until I reached the next town. And I did have to clean it.