cross-posted from: https://reddthat.com/post/70827890
Few adult men are killed by adult women. Our fear is real
Ah yes, the very unbiased and fair comparison between murder and podcast incels. There are no real issues that men are facing…
I don’t understand why people can’t support women while supporting men too. I can. You can do too. It is not women vs men. It is tradition/sexism vs individual freedom/respect.
I hate these kinds of posts too. All they do is promote division in these times we have to stick together against the billionaires
The worst part… it works. E.g. on me, and i know. It is difficult to see these kind of posts, which are clearly misandry, and then hear people deny the trend for misandry, especially online.
OBVIOUSLY there is a shit tonne of misogyny, especially online and that is a big problem. But we shouldn’t ignore the trend to misandry. It is not a competition and we fight against misogyny better if we fight sexism in general, I believe.
But the posts make me feel like a shocking amount of people are not against sexism but just misogyny. How am I supposed to feel like those are not my enemy when I am opposed to sexism?
Then I spend time with the people that I love and I am good again but… it is fucking poison.
This post still isn’t at bad as a roofie.
We can start working on posts like this once we’ve solved the roofie problem.
A roofie isn’t as bad as the bombing of schoolchildren. We can start working on roofing until we’ve solved the warcrime problem.
How can we not work on both at the same time again?
What counts as “solved”? What are the goalposts, and who gets to judge those?
We can only ever work on one issue at once
That’s usually not true.
But with this specific issue, the most efficient solution is to help women. Women are being mean to the man community because the man community is harming women. There’s no solution that will get women to be nicer to your community more efficiently than getting your community to be nicer to women.
I disagree, because your suggestion is treating a symptom. The cause-- the structures and incentives causing the divide in the first place-- would remain, and you will never resolve all the symptoms until the cause is resolved. Trying to resolve every symptom first would result in a neverending battle.
Did you even read the comment you replied to?
Why is roofying bad? She won’t remember it, and that’s good enough for women when they circumcise their infant boys.
Circumcision is actually horrible. My partner is still really sad it was circumcised even after all those years.
Circumcision doesn’t just affect men. People of all genders are circumcised and suffer for it. So please don’t make light of circumcision.
Honestly you probably shouldn’t start a “Who can make the most braindead stupid argument” competition if you can’t handle losing, Grail.
I can’t believe I’m about to defend grail, but i this thread they’re objectively correct and you’re not. Worse still, you’re being a douch about it. Stop it.
I agree, they definitely lost the “Who can make the most braindead stupid argument” competition…congrats on your big win 🤣🤣🤣
I was circumcised so I’m allowed to like how the chinese can throw cats at their enemies.
Delusionposting contender 2026
While I do agree with your sentiment I think its critical we work thru the issue so the rich can’t use it against us. Somehow get to an understanding that men and women face issues, both should be supported.
There’s still too many men who can’t understand why a woman would ever choose the bear.
Except polling on most issues regarding women are positive. No one is favor of more rape, lower wages, and sexual harassment.
That being said the bear analogy pisses me off
I mean, I can’t imagine most people being in favor of those things. My idea was more about how online we see missandry and misogyny, even in this comment section. The most well-known recent example was the bear.
Just that we should try to work through our divides. Women vs men. Urban vs rural. Etc. Because they’re easy distractions.
100% agreed. I just hold lemmy in a higher regard because I see less divisiveness here vs other social media and it want to keep it that way
On the one hand, I agree. On the other hand, most men do not understand that to be a woman means constantly being in danger.
“But not all men are-” I know. Everyone knows. There’s good people of every gender, that’s not in question. The problem is that people keep saying “Not all men” in direct response to women expressing that they don’t feel safe. Same energy as telling a black person “All lives matter”.
There’s the men this meme is about, and there’s the men this meme is for, and the venn diagram is two separate circles. The assholes with the podcasts aren’t going to understand, because they’re the problem. They think that by being nice they’re entitled to sex, and then get vindictive when no sex. Most everyone else doesn’t understand because the thought of being such a douch doesn’t occur to them.
While it’s not an “excuse”, I think the “explanation” tends to be that speech from Nick in Zootopia: If people are going to regard you as shifty and untrustworthy, why bother being anything else.
Like I said, not a valid reason, but I do see how that toxic manosphere grows through fear.
I’m sure that’s a significant part of it too
The problem is that people keep saying “Not all men” in direct response to women expressing that they don’t feel safe. Same energy as telling a black person “All lives matter”.
I don’t think this is entirely accurate. The equivalent of an “all lives matter” person is a “men have issues too” person, not a “not all men” person. The first two are from people taking issue with advocacy for one group (black people; women) because they see it as exclusionary of or harmful to their group (white people; men)*. In contrast, “not all men” people are responding to a percieved attack directed at them, not just to being excluded from targeted advocacy. Subtly but meaningfully different, imo.
* Technically non-black people and non-women, I suppose? But this is the general pattern I’ve recognized.
My analogy isn’t perfect, but I think it holds up well enough to make my point.
Woman: “I’d like to not be sexually harassed when I go out in public.”
Man: “I feel personally attacked by this statement.”
Black person: “I’d like to not be killed by a cop today.”
White person: “I feel personally attacked by this statement.”
It’s good enough to make the point, but inaccuracies add up, so I always try to correct the ones I percieve, however small.
that’s fair
I like to turn the shower on and fill the tub up and pretend I’m in a submarine that’s been hit
How do you plan your escape?
Raise the periscope while still near the surface and hope that a friendly ship spots the feather first.
is the periscope your weiner?
Yes. Don’t ask about the 90° bend before the tip, it’s a long story that I haven’t made up yet.
a tug maybe…
I like to turn up the Bluetooth speaker and pretend I’m Stan Rogers performing in a smokey bar, using my showerbeer as a microphone.
That’s a perfect metaphor for crying over „man hating feminists“.
Don’t know whether to upvote for spreading awareness of women’s issues or downvote for encouraging gender wars discourse
It’s in a shitpost sub, it’s ragebait. I use it to block misogynists so that’s something.
lemmy shitpost never fails to amaze me with how concentrated its ragebait is
Lil’ bit of ragebait has always been part of shitposting, but usually it’s at least funny ragebait
Why are they being racist and using a black man to illustrate dangerous masculinity!!!1!
Dangerously sexy
It is widely known that only straight white men are responsible for all the evil in the world!
Why is this here?
The world would be better if we had better empathy for each other. I don’t think the poster thinks that men’s problems don’t exist. However so many men seemed to have interpreted it that way. I think the poster is just asking for empathy. There’s no need to be defensive about it if you’re a guy. All they’re asking for is awareness of their problem. We can do better than just dismissing their concerns outright.
This is just instagtam grade ragebait. There are more productive ways we can discuss issues specific to gender and this kind of bullshit is not helping. I come to lemmy to get away from other social media gender wars horseshit.
There are more productive ways but I also feel as though there are better ways for you to reply to me …
If you feel it’s ragebait and maybe it is … then that’s fine. I just see it resonated with a female only community here.
I won’t disagree you on this … if that’s what you came for Lemmy for then this is very annoying.
I agree with the message but it’s not a shitpost.
I disagree with the message but it’s a shitpost
Ok message aside, how tf is this a shitpost? OP is just saying what they believe. There’s no joke or wink wink or nothin
It’s a low effort post means to spark gender wars again, and it could absolutely be used ironically.
Reminds me of an IDLES lyric: “Men are scared women will laugh in their face, women are scared it’s their lives men will take.”
they yourjokebutworsed margaret atwood
Men are scared women will laugh in their face
Counterpoint: https://archive.ph/s0bTd
An innocen man lost his career, his wife and children, and his home. That’s a little more than “a laugh to the face”.
And she only got caught because she went to the police. The vast majority of accusations are designed to never come even remotely close to anything properly investigative. They’re meant to impart the maximum amount of social and economic destruction with a minimum of accountability - and preferably none at all.
Cherry on top:
As for the good Samaritan, he says the incident has deterred him from helping a young woman ever again.
And a large number of men are learning from the misfortunes of other men, rather than experiencing such pain and destruction personally. This is why “chivalry” is dead. And good riddance.
I would like to note the man in your example is still alive, which is not a courtesy always extended to women
No, the vast majority of accusations are not designed, they’re just the truth. Sounds like this dude was already sexist though, why would this only keep him from helping women of a vague-yet-predetermined age? Anyone could make such a claim and ruin someone’s life. If he said he refused to help people of the same skin color as her, would that justify being racist? This woman clearly has a diagnosable mental disorder, it doesn’t exactly point to a gender-wide conspiracy, and it certainly doesn’t belie the claim that women have more to fear from men than men do from women. Chivalry should die, it’s just window dressing for systemic gender inequality.
Well, the first paragraph happens a lot and for real reasons,
The second paragraph is exceedingly rare, but not zero
But the overall sentiment is not wrong
The best this post can hope to achieve is to bait the people who perpetuate b into the open where people who are pissed off that A has to happen can make them defend their position and thusly make an incredibly small chance to make a difference.
I feel like you shouldnt share live locations unless its e2ee
Anyone at all who gives this more that two seconds of thought knows these issues are not to be compared, but to be seen as part of one complex that should be solved as one, should we ever hope to resolve it.
Accentuating issues on one side while grossly belittling ones on the other isn’t gonna cut it. You won’t magically fix the culture of aggression and dominance as the only acceptable behavior, inability to complain and find healthy guidance, social hierarchies and pressures, exclusion and alienation of men from large parts of social life that can be vital to them, the indoctrination by “men are dangerous”, by reducing it to “oh women don’t smile at them, cry me a river”. Neither will the gross overgeneralizations, lumping half the planet’s population into some psycho category, help resolve the matter.
Men need to receive care, attention, to have a safe space for their emotions, to unlearn the unhealthy parts in a safe environment while keeping in touch with themselves and a healthy masculinity. They need healthy interactions with women to receive a balanced and healthy perspective, learn proper boundaries, dispel unhealthy views. We should be on the lookout for individuals who need help and professional attention, and who is most likely to pose danger if left this way. The very things that make some men dangerous grow at their most in isolation. We shouldn’t let it happen, if not for the sake of men, then for the sake of women.
Women can - and should - take part in that. Let’s start simple: it’s totally healthy to address safety concerns, and a lot need to be said about it, but let’s work on the second part, let’s not compare or reduce someone else’s feelings and struggles in a neverending tug of war. We can talk, and there are intertwined issues on both sides that we need to untangle together. Let’s get it done.
Yeah, well said
No one owes anyone a smile.
Sure. But that’s not the point
Counterpoint: https://archive.ph/s0bTd
And she only got caught because she went to the police. Most accusations are only meant to destroy careers, so never come close to anything even remotely investigative. HR washes their hands of the man, (usually) blackballs him in the industry, and never tries to find out anything more beyond the woman’s accusation.
Cherry on top:
As for the good Samaritan, he says the incident has deterred him from helping a young woman ever again.
Men are seeing incidents like this, and learning by example before painful experience hammers it home.
The article is 7 years old. That’s how far you have to go back to find an example
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No, not fair point. That is one instance of this happening. Quite literally anecdotal evidence, one of the weakest form of evidence. While horrible, it doesn’t change the fact that one sex is much more likely to be the victim of the other. Women are justified in being wary of men.
Exactly
I’m disappointed in the responses from people trying to pretend that no matter who is on the receiving end of it, the overwhelming majority of violence is perpetrated by men
deleted by creator
My ex girlfriend tried to stab me in my sleep. But I guess I should feel lucky since it’s so statistically unlikely.
The worst part - it’s not statistically unlikely at all!
Men often are at the receiving end of physical and psychological abuse, including by women. Such cases are often dismissed by society, worsening the traumatic experience.
You’re confusing two things. On a personal level, you’re not lucky. The moment something happens, everything changes for the person it happened to. Same with rare illnesses or side effects of drugs or vaccinations.
What doesn’t change is that men go on first dates without taking precautions. I hope that helped
I’ll counter this with any “real housewives” tv drama bullshit.
Proves that women are all etcetc
