Ah, it’s that beautiful time of year again when my body violently rejects the very atmosphere itself due to all the pretty plants jizzing wildly and frantically into the air…
Damned botanical bukakke
My body: WE’RE UNDER ATTACK!!! SNEEZE! I SAID SNEEZE DAMNIT! TURN THAT NOSE INTO A FAUCET! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
It’s weird to think about how I will never be involved in as much human sex as I have been involved (by randomly walking in the middle of) random plant sex. We humans just don’t do sex aggressively enough to keep up.
You’re telling me you don’t hide in the brush and jerk off onto random hikers?
Not as much as plants do anyway…
Lilacs are in bloom here and I’ve been stopping on my bike to get my nose into those flowers as often as possible. Probably my favorite flower scent.
Yea boy! Get your nose in there!
And let’s not forget those delicious ovaries! Sweet, juicy, engorged ovaries… Yum! 😋
Like many other species on this earth, they have a mechanism that helps them survive but humans decided it was a good reason to murder them and put their corpses on display.
If y’all ain’t doing the first bit & people around you aren’t doing the second bit - you are doing it wrong.
I throw my stamen in the air sometimes. Screamin’ AAYYOOO! This pollen’s ready to go!
Humans: imma wave my genitals in the air Also Humans: mmm fragrant
I mean, in some cases. But, I think there is a reason you are supposed to focus especially on washing them.
That’s what she said!
ACHOO!
Fuck them polls in the air…
