I don’t know if I’m just becoming overly sensitive to my own language or if this is an actual issue, so feel free to let me know if it seems that I just need to grow thicker skin, but still.

I keep getting this uneasy feeling whenever I use the word “lame” and I think it’s because I’m starting to realize it’s technically ableist. However, there’s no single non-profane word that I know of that fits the niche that I use it in.

For example, I wrote out something earlier about a behavior I do that I don’t like that I do because I think it’s kind of shitty behavior, but it’s overall harmless. I use lame to describe it casually. I could also call it kind of shitty, as I did before, but not to audiences that I don’t want to use profanity around.

Anyone know of a word I can replace “lame” with?

I’d say maybe weak, but that’s got its own baggage that I’m not sure I’m ok with switching to. Annoying is too strong of a word for what I’m going for. Maybe lame is a short word for “this makes me feel slightly sad”?

Idk, so I open it up to the public: Is this even an issue or am I being too sensitive? Could this be solved in a single replacement word or do I need a whole ass phrase to express this?

  • loops@beehaw.org
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    11 months ago

    To me, the definition of ‘lame’ meaning like a lame leg or something is too dated to be the first thing most people think of in most contexts.

    • evranch@lemmy.ca
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      11 months ago

      As a rancher “lame” is in regular usage, but it’s something that happens to animals and not to people.

      A person with a persistent leg injury would simply be referred to with a sentence like “Jim’s got a bad leg, he’s walked like that since a bull ran him over”

      • pbjamm@beehaw.org
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        11 months ago

        Good friend of mine has a gimpy leg after 2 too many motorcycle accidents. He is lucky to have one of them at all. I dont think “lame” has ever come up in context of him or his infirmary.

    • ArtZuron@beehaw.org
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      11 months ago

      That’s my thinking too. It’s too removed from its roots to really have a negative context for most folks.

  • LallyLuckFarm@beehaw.org
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    11 months ago

    Personally, I think it’s fantastic that you’re examining your language in this way. It’s certainly not ill-mannered, unsolicitous, infelicitous, or untoward of you to do so.

  • eladnarra@beehaw.org
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    11 months ago

    Sounds like folks have given a good number of alternatives, but I just wanted to share a resource: “Ableism/Language” by Lydia X. Z. Brown. It goes through a bunch of ableist words and suggests alternatives. :)

    • FlickOfTheBean@beehaw.orgOP
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      11 months ago

      My biggest take away was:

      Ableism is not a list of bad words. Language is one tool of an oppressive system. Being aware of language – for those of us who have the privilege of being able to change our language – can help us understand how pervasive ableism is. Ableism is systematic, institutional devaluing of bodies and minds deemed deviant, abnormal, defective, subhuman, less than. Ableism is violence.

      So the language itself isn’t ableist, technically, according to this, but abilism is when the person using the language thinks of the negative stereotypes associated and uses that to justify some shitty position or action.

      So in other words, while lame is acknowledged as a problematic word, it’s not inherently abilist to use it, which is not a takeaway I was expecting to get.

      Let me know if I misread it, but thank you for posting! It was an informative read!

  • fracture [he/him] @beehaw.org
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    11 months ago

    i’m also interested in this. particularly within gaming, lame has a specific connotation of referring to “anti-fun” strategies in a derogatory way that’s hard to replace (things like camping, cheap strats, spamming, etc). but, for similar reasons as to what you’ve outlined, i’d like to substitute it

    but otoh i wonder if we’re kind of settling on what language is acceptable for derogatory use and what isn’t. the r word is not okay, but dumb/stupid is, even though they’re technically the same origin. perhaps lame falls into the same category? i haven’t seen anyone overly upset over it’s use, anyways

  • ArtZuron@beehaw.org
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    11 months ago

    Moron, imbecile, and dullard came out of eugenics IIRC. Does “lame” have that origin too?

    I’ve heard it used to refer to injured or weakened legs, as well as the creature they’re attached to. As in, “the cow was lame because of its injured hoof.” I’ve heard it used to refer to something that is boring or disappointing. “That movie was lame.” or “That was lame.”

    I wouldn’t doubt that there is some negative connotation for it though. Terrible people tend to take innocuous words and twist them to suit their schemes.

  • sub_o@beehaw.org
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    11 months ago

    Maybe dull or boring?

    I’ve also stopped using the word ‘dumb’ when referring to ‘stupid’. Nowadays I only use the word dumb for muteness, and I rarely even use that word anymore, mostly mute.

    • Fox@beehaw.org
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      11 months ago

      I’m not mute, but to me, using “dumb” to describe someone who is mute sounds… worse? It feels like the equivalent of recognizing that “crazy” has baggage and not using it in everyday speech, but continuing to use it to describe mentally ill people. I understand that it’s not a perfect comparison, but it feels like sometimes, words become too enmeshed in their modern-day insulting uses to feel okay using them to describe a community, even if it is the technical definition of the word.

      If anyone who is mute/nonverbal/nonspeaking sees this and I’m wrong - please let me know!! I don’t mean to overstep, I just want to share my perspective.

  • LoamImprovement@beehaw.org
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    11 months ago

    Maybe I’m getting too old to understand the lingo, but I thought that’s what ‘mid’ was for? Not good, but not bad enough to warrant a stronger reaction. Just mid.

    • NightAuthor@beehaw.org
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      11 months ago

      I feel like lame is cool as mid is to awesome. They’re like words for positions on spectrums of stuff, but two different spectrums.

      Maybe a simple “uncool” would suffice for OP.

    • Boozilla@beehaw.org
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      11 months ago

      Cringe is far too overused IMHO. Especially online.

      If something is “lame” it’s probably unoriginal, derivative, boring, or annoying.

    • sigmaklimgrindset@sopuli.xyz
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      11 months ago

      “Cringe” doesn’t have the emotional devastation that “lame” with an eyeroll does, at least according to my mother.

      • huginn@feddit.it
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        11 months ago

        Your mother is wrong:

        IDC lame but I’d move mountains to avoid being cringe

  • _TK@lemmy.antemeridiem.xyz
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    11 months ago

    I get the distaste, but language is a fluid thing. Plenty of words we use now do not mean the same thing as when they were first coined. I think Lame is a pretty safe word to use in modern times without people taking it poorly.

    If you still have a distaste for it, then replacing it isn’t going to be that hard. Lame isn’t really part of my general speech, not for any particular reason, it just isn’t. I would say something sucks instead. If something doesn’t warrant the full suck to you, you could say “that’s rough” or something. Lame as a word fits in many situations, but maybe not all of those situations warrant the same word.

    When I was a kid, everyone (and I mean everyone) in my age group described things as gay or removed. Over time I grew out of that language and met people who were genuinely hurt by it enough for me to change it. It took a while to do, but now neither of those terms is something I use negatively. I can’t say that I consciously picked words to replace them with, though. Just being thoughtful about what language I used helped me remove those uses from my day to day life and the rest of language came in to fill the void more or less on its own.

  • effingnerd@beehaw.org
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    11 months ago

    Coming up with an alternative to the word “lame” seems like the wrong way go about this. To you, a lame thing is a thing you don’t like. That’s what it means to me, I’d wager that’s what it means to a lot of people. Saying it is a knee-jerk reaction. Any word you pick to replace it will have the same negative connotation. Instead of picking a short word to use to describe a thing you don’t like, stop and think about why you don’t like the thing and use that reason as your statement of disapproval. Or, if you’re just saying you don’t like a thing, maybe that sentiment doesn’t need to be expressed.

  • Mom Nom Mom@nom.mom
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    11 months ago

    Maybe use “sucks”? Or “uncool” (“That thing I did was so uncool. It was really sucky.”) would probably be my top suggestions.

    I have seen signs hung around nearby schools trying to get the word “gay” out of common use to mean the same thing that “lame” is used for, but I don’t remember a lot of the things that were on the list. If I find a copy of the sign (or one like it) I’ll add it. (ok, that was 5 years ago, so they may not still be used? … That’s naive, even for me.)

    As someone else said, though, I think it’s used so infrequently to mean “disabled” in modern English, that you probably don’t have to worry about it.

    • VoxAdActa@beehaw.org
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      11 months ago

      Maybe use “sucks”?

      “Sucks” has homophobic/misogynist roots, though, and they’re much more recent than the ableist usage of “lame”. Even the 1950’s version of “sucks eggs” wasn’t actually talking about the things that come from a chicken.

    • Mom Nom Mom@nom.mom
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      11 months ago

      Also, I like using “weak-sauce” if I have to watch my language - I think I’m too old to use “cringe” as often, unless it’s, like, really cringe.

      P.s. I’m disabled, walking problems, bad back, one leg a little shorter than the other… I use “lame” to mean shitty/uncouth/sucky/disappointing/boring and don’t take offense to it…

      • FlickOfTheBean@beehaw.orgOP
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        11 months ago

        Weak-sauce is the exact essence of what I’m trying to get at, but it’s too… Millennial… Like, internally there’s no issue with using it, but saying/typing it out to someone older than me feels distinctly cringe (in the lightest sense, though lol just like something you’re not supposed to do, you know?)

        • JCPhoenix@beehaw.org
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          11 months ago

          I’m a Millennial and “weak sauce” sounds pretty cringe. Or as someone said in this thread, infelicitous. It’s very 2010s. It had its time; it’s time we moved on from it, collectively lol…

          • Mom Nom Mom@nom.mom
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            11 months ago

            (I had to check where I fall these days, since I thought of myself as Gen X forever, especially vs Millennial, but I guess I’m a Xennial?)

            Anyway, I feel like “cringe” is in this same bucket :-P

            • JCPhoenix@beehaw.org
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              11 months ago

              No cap?

              I literally had to look that up in Urban Dictionary when I started hearing that. I think that’s a sign haha…