Literal excerpts from a very popular book of books
People swore oaths in their testicles. The words testimony, testes, and testament all have the same root. Thus the Bible is composed of old balls and new balls.
Edit: spelling.
I’ve always known the Bible is just a load of bollocks
It is. Before my deconverting I was going to study it professionally. You know what a profound moment for me was? I knew that latter authors/editors had changed the text. What dawned on me was that the reason they felt like they were allowed to lie was because they grasped that the people before them were lying as well. They weren’t doing some sorta Stalinesque rewriting of their history they were writing fanfiction.
“Swear on my balls”
Testify.
OH LORD, SWEAR ON MY BALLS!
Testicle-fy.
Teste-fy
I’m sure it’s totally inno–
Oh
I’m sorry but what in all fuck is this?!
“All I have in this world is my balls and my word.”
That’s as close to relevant as I can get.
I mean the Bible in general is written in old language and meaning. Could it mean to support him and shoulder him as he grows older and can’t walk? Taking anything literally from the Bible tends to look strange as society has evolved over thousands of years since then
I mean my dick is under my knees so Abraham was packin’ pea shooters.
“Who is this guy, and what is he doing in my court ?”
“He is the witness in this trial, your Honor”.
“Does that mean the ball is now in my court?”
“Yep”.
So Israel was a person in Genesis?
We have truly lost our way. Nobody sits on anyone’s hands anymore.
