• Polderviking@feddit.nl
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    15 days ago

    I’ve definitely got some bleak ass humor with some friends in private but forwarding messages people sent you in private to other people and group chats? Really?

    • ameancow@lemmy.world
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      14 days ago

      Every parent’s “talk” with their kids should start with “Never say or post anything about yourself on the internet, in any capacity, that you wouldn’t want literally everyone in your life knowing about. Assume everything you type, post or share will be seen by everyone.”

      I would extend that to include even uploading things to private cloud servers and saving things to your own computer. You don’t have to take these precautions, but then it’s on you to deal with consequences of people seeing the things you want to keep private. Sure, there can be bad people who make extra effort to find and share your private things, but if you already covered your bases ahead of time by not saying things you don’t want others to hear, not posting media you don’t want others to see, you can make it almost impossible for people to cause you harm this way. Also, don’t talk about war plans in group chats.

      edit: if you’re one of the kinds of people who read this and feel a reaction of outrage or disappointment that you can’t contain, this means you’re sharing things you shouldn’t and are now getting worried you won’t be able to make yourself out to be a victim when it happens. Don’t get mad at me, I didn’t make these rules, you just never heard them before. Fix your shitty social life and shitty sense of humor.

      • Snowclone@lemmy.world
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        14 days ago

        I have had this exact talk with my kids repeatedly and probably will again ''the internet is a PUBLIC place, if you wouldn’t do or say things you wouldn’t be comfortable doing in the quad at school or in the middle of Walmart, DON’T do it online."

        • ameancow@lemmy.world
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          14 days ago

          You are officially ahead of like, half the people in this post, and your kids will be too.

    • Da Bald Eagul@feddit.nl
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      15 days ago

      Depends on context. Maybe I’m not reading the OP right, but if it’s in the context of “yo guys what do I say” it’s different from “yo guys look how desperate she is lmao”

    • TwoBeeSan@lemmy.world
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      15 days ago

      Yeah that’s my line. Something someone told you in confidence is a shit thing to make fun of them for, forwarding it to friends is another level.

      Derek’s lame but they were shit too

      • ameancow@lemmy.world
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        15 days ago

        confidence

        If this is supposed to be private, personal stuff, why then would you share it with either someone you don’t know well, or share it in a public space where others can see it? “Confidential” material means it should only be seen by people you trust. This whole post is about someone they didn’t know or trust coming into their space and sharing their shit. It’s entirely on them for saying stupid shit on the internet and not being careful.

        • TwoBeeSan@lemmy.world
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          14 days ago

          Agreed. Was referring to the messages their SO’s sent them they then talked in the chat about

          That’s scum

    • slaneesh_is_right@lemmy.org
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      15 days ago

      I text my friends offensive shit too, but imo the only reason you can consider them funny is because it’s the exact opposite of who i am. Like i don’t even really swear irl. But shit like forwarding private messages or bullying real people is so disgusting to me. I often talk to girls from tinder, and they sometimes send me screenshots of people from tinder to make fun of them. Instant turn off and block.

      • VitoRobles@lemmy.today
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        14 days ago

        If you’re sharing it privately, that’s your true self, the version of you unfiltered and able to avoid the consequences of actually saying it.

        Not if, but when it gets exposed by a Derek, will people look at you differently?

        You just discovered something important about yourself.

        • wabasso@lemmy.ca
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          14 days ago

          This is an over generalization. How can you support that this is true other than for yourself alone?

          Sometimes the unfiltered things I discuss in private are for the purpose of getting feedback. A brainstorming space without any of the regular inhibitions censoring free thought. I’m not looking for affirmation, but genuinely want to see what the unfiltered feedback would be, and am ready to change my option on a dime.

          Take this to the next level: you do this in your own mind / imagination before you speak. You think things that you don’t say. So is everything in your mind, even things you think are wrong and choose not to express, your true self? And you should be ashamed of shameful thoughts?

          Also what do you even mean by “true” self? If I act differently around different groups of people, which one is true?

          • ameancow@lemmy.world
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            14 days ago

            A brainstorming space

            He posted nudes of his ex, among other things I’m sure at the same level of taste and class.

            Can we stop twisting ourselves in knots trying to make fabricated and abstracted situations trying to engineer this to a situation where the people who originally shared terrible things are somehow morally justified? When you’re shitty on the internet, and let other people see your shitty shit, shit is going to come back on you. It’s your fault, you made a mistake. Period. This isn’t deep or hard to figure out.

            You don’t even have to be the bad guy here, you can do everything right and STILL end up fucked over because you didn’t take care with what you post around other people. Learn to be smarter. Get gud.

        • thebestaquaman@lemmy.world
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          14 days ago

          This is a terrible take. Obviously, I can say something offensive to a friend that they would find funny exactly because they know I don’t mean it seriously.

          Saying that is some kind of “reflection of my true self” is honestly just dumb. I’m saying the offensive thing because I find it offensive myself, and because I would never say it to someone I don’t trust to understand that.