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NateNate60@lemmy.world
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to Not The Onion@lemmy.worldEnglish · 5 days ago

U.S. House Speaker calls Portland naked bike ride [protest] ‘most threatening thing I’ve seen yet’

www.oregonlive.com

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U.S. House Speaker calls Portland naked bike ride [protest] ‘most threatening thing I’ve seen yet’

www.oregonlive.com

NateNate60@lemmy.world
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to Not The Onion@lemmy.worldEnglish · 5 days ago
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U.S. House Speaker calls Portland naked bike ride ‘most threatening thing I’ve seen yet’
www.oregonlive.com
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"The most threatening thing I’ve seen yet was the naked bicyclers in Portland who were protesting ICE down there," said U.S. Speaker of the House Mike Johnson Tuesday.
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  • Frezik@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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    4 days ago

    Next time someone says lefties are too soft, remember that Mike Johnson feels deeply threatened by naked people on bikes in a city on the other side of the country from him.

  • radix@lemmy.world
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    He saw it on TV instead of through his porn accountability app. It was terrifying for him to not share his viewing with his son.

    • Kairos@lemmy.today
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      Oh yeah, he does that.

  • EndlessNightmare@reddthat.com
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    4 days ago

    The U.S. is such a strange place, where a sizable part of the population is more terrified of tits than guns.

    • gandalf_der_12te@discuss.tchncs.de
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      Can i post this into the microblog memes community with the title “we need more open carry boobs”?

      • EndlessNightmare@reddthat.com
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        Go for it

      • phutatorius@lemmy.zip
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        4 days ago

        It’s only a matter of time until boob registration will be mandatory.

    • SabinStargem@lemmy.today
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      4 days ago

      It would make much more sense if our MIC developed these…

      …huh. I find the missile-to-bust ratio to be implausible.

      • phutatorius@lemmy.zip
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        4 days ago

        You’ve never been to Las Vegas, then.

    • mEEGal@lemmy.world
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      4 days ago

      Open carrying tits is way less common.

      Would you open carry your tits in schools !!?

      • klu9@piefed.social
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        4 days ago

        Arming teachers with boobs is the only way to stop all the school boobings.

        • mEEGal@lemmy.world
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          3 days ago

          Seriously though : phrased like that it highlights how dumb the argument sounds for arming the teachers

  • abbiistabbii@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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    Nothing threatens Conservatives than casual nudity. Got it.

    • bitjunkie@lemmy.world
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      4 days ago

      Wait until they learn about guillotines!

      • Øπ3ŕ@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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        4 days ago

        How much longer, though? We’ve been very patient.

      • phutatorius@lemmy.zip
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        4 days ago

        Why not moon 'em as they get the chop?

  • TropicalDingdong@lemmy.world
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    5 days ago

    Dicks out for democracy.

    Tits out against tyranny.

    • Triumph@fedia.io
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      Buttholes out against bastards.

      • TheGoldenV@lemmy.world
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        5 days ago

        The battle of the buttholes?

      • kbobabob@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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        5 days ago

        Sounds like a good time

        • chemical_cutthroat@lemmy.world
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          4 days ago

          Eh, I’m just gonna stay at home and fart around.

      • mEEGal@lemmy.world
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        4 days ago

        Butthole royale

  • blarth@thelemmy.club
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    4 days ago

    Seems like he is totally cool with the stuff Donald Trump did with underage girls, but he can’t handle seeing adults naked?

    Weird.

  • chellewalker@lemmy.ca
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    5 days ago

    What an impressively sheltered life he’s lived.

    • mushroommunk@lemmy.today
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      5 days ago

      Well what do you expect when his son won’t let him watch porn?

      • slaacaa@lemmy.world
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        4 days ago

        How perfectly normal

  • abbiistabbii@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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    4 days ago

  • Sludgehammer@lemmy.world
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    Isn’t that the most American statement ever. Belligerent assholes walking around with automatic rifles and tacticool pseudo military gear from Ebay? What a patriotic display! A bunch of people without clothes just biking around? The most threatening thing I’ve seen yet!

    • Tempus Fugit@midwest.social
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      Lmao, Christians are too funny to me. Violence and murder, a-ok; little bit of nudity, “they’re very threatening!”

      • Sludgehammer@lemmy.world
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        I know, right? Like even as a kid the idea that Robocop (with some dude melting and getting smashed into a flesh smoothy) was just as bad as seeing a woman’s boob was baffling. It still is as an adult.

        • UltraGiGaGigantic@lemmy.ml
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          4 days ago

          Copaganda

    • TXL@sopuli.xyz
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      4 days ago

      They weren’t even without clothes, apparently. Just in a bit less.

  • TronBronson@lemmy.world
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    I saw a young girl with a knee on her neck the other day. Saw them arresting people at a Spanish speaking mass today. Idk I’ve seen some threatening things

  • CptOblivius@lemmy.world
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    That’s just the penises awakening something in him again.

    • village604@adultswim.fan
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      4 days ago

      He’s probably also thinks labias are scary and gross.

    • DannyMac@sh.itjust.works
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  • SatansMaggotyCumFart@piefed.world
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    Did he not see Jan 6th 2021?

    • ByteOnBikes@discuss.online
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      You mean that fake Jan 6 Antifa woke FBI mob that were unarmed and just peaceful tourists

      Unlike that nothing burger, where five people died…

      This VIOLENT bike ride had DICKS out.

      • oyo@lemmy.zip
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        I again ask, why did Trump pardon all those Antifa woke FBI crisis actors paid by Soros?

    • frustrated_phagocytosis@fedia.io
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      Right? I didn’t see cyclists smear shit all over the place before leaving.

      • UltraGiGaGigantic@lemmy.ml
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        Their bike seats smell funny! I am not taking questions on why I’m sniffing strangers bike seats.

        • phutatorius@lemmy.zip
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          Johnson’s definitely got the furtive look of a gusset-sniffer, and probably a bike-seat-sniffer too.

  • Treczoks@lemmy.world
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    So, he considers unarmed, naked people “threatening”? What a weak, cowardly snowflake.

    • Tollana1234567@lemmy.today
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      all those meatswords t he men are carrying could seriously harm him.

      • slampisko@lemmy.world
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        In his ego too, where it hurts the most.

      • stringere@sh.itjust.works
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        He’s worried about being stabbed, repeatedly, and liking it.

    • ours@lemmy.world
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      He’s afraid it will awaken something in him.

      • stinky@redlemmy.com
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        He’s seen the dildo seat videos and he secretly hopes they’ll appear in mainstream media from coverage of the protest. He’s gleeful with the possibility, he can’t stop talking about it

  • NigelFrobisher@aussie.zone
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    I forgot nudity is like the ultimate taboo in the USA. Janet Jackson was sent to Guantanamo for her nip-nip popping out a little, while meanwhile over the pond there are nude Germans on every beach and children are raised by Eurotrash on late night TV.

    • Blackmist@feddit.uk
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      That Eurotrash nudity was always such a gamble. Always a toss-up between actually attractive women, and a 73 year-old Danish naturist with tits like windsocks. Or Lolo bloody Ferrari and her horrendous stretched beachballs.

      • Hemingways_Shotgun@lemmy.ca
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        73 year-old Danish naturist with tits like windsocks

        So THAT’S where my ex-wife vanished off to…

      • phutatorius@lemmy.zip
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        73 year-old Danish naturist with tits like windsocks

        Long boobies are in style now. You’ll see.

    • quick_snail@feddit.nl
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      Janet Jackson was not a prisoner at Gitmo wtf

      • cazzmaniandevil@discuss.tchncs.de
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        Wooosh 😃

        • Qwaffle_waffle@sh.itjust.works
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          Cleared for takeoff.

          • Hupf@feddit.org
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            4 days ago

            Roger, Roger.

            (Username checks out)

      • Stalinwolf@lemmy.ca
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        I kind of like the lore that Janet Jackson has been in Guantanamo this entire time and the rest of us completely missed the memo.

        • tiramichu@sh.itjust.works
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          I wouldn’t have noticed either way to be fair

  • selkiesidhe@sh.itjust.works
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    Portland does this sort of thing every year. Clutch your pearls harder, you mushroom-fluffing fascist.

    The only thing it threatened was your fragile sense of heterosexuality upon seeing all those chilly willies.

    • MightBeAlpharius@lemmy.world
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      all those chilly willies

      Yeah, I heard the weather was pretty bad this year. Ngl, though, I feel feel like my fragile sense of masculinity would be much more threatened by a bunch of massive flopping songs on a hot day, than it would be by a bunch of tiny chilly willies on a cold day.

      …Hold up. Poor/middle class guys with small schlongs drive huge trucks and loud cars. Does this mean that rich guys with tiny tallywhackers go into politics?

      • Drusas@fedia.io
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        Flopping songs. I can hear their sound now.

    • Flames5123@sh.itjust.works
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      Seattle does a naked bike ride every solstice festival!

      • Drusas@fedia.io
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        3 days ago

        Time to start up a winter solstice festival. I’m actually a little surprised we don’t have one (or do we?).

        • Flames5123@sh.itjust.works
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          2 days ago

          Apparently there’s something at Green Lake on two weekends, 5-8pm. But I’m always too seasonally depressed to go anywhere for the winter solstice.

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