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Six years ago my former coworker’s house burnt down and I gave them a decent amount of money, no strings.
Three weeks ago the same person gave me a job making 30% more money than I was.
It goes around the nice way too sometimes.
I’ve held an interview with one of my former school bullies from highschool for a position under my team. I only had a suspicion when I came across the resume, but I just knew it was him when I saw his face on cam.
It was nice seeing him fumble over the curveball technical questions that I threw at him, and told HR that he wasn’t only a poor fit, but not to even send a follow up response l either.
Not a school bully but more of an adult would-be bully/asshole. I saw his resume come across my bpss’s desk and I made sure he didnt even get considered for an interview. Feels good man.
Did you ask him to respond to something or is sending thank yous or reaching out for being interviewed expected?
Seeing the people that are happy to ruin someone else’s life because they were bullied by them a decade ago…goes to show you no one can ever forgive. Just animals the lot of ya…people change, maybe give them a chance.
Yeah it’s cool to keep letting shity people get away with being shitty right? Along as your not like them right? An qdeye for an eye would leave the whole world blind right. So it makes sense to just only have one guy miss his eye because revenge would be wrong. People change their hobbies, interests, clothes. Not shitty attitudes and behaviors. *
This would only work if they made the connection between their shitty behaviour and their mortgage application being rejected years later, which they won’t. They won’t even know who rejected it.
Probably less of an issue with a person’s capability for forgiveness as much as the continuous tormenting of a child in their developmental stages will have a disproportionately heavy impact in their psyche.
The bullying may have also played a large role in building the bullied’s sense of justice, and seizing on an opportunity to “do a solid” for that young defenseless and miserable child within you could go a long way to closing the circle on fundamental issues you have with the ability for any form of justice, civil or vigilante, to carry through and provide consequences.
I had my college plans plans ruined because of “uncooperative” guidance counselors. I recently found out that I actually tested advance proficient for science, but was refused higher then remedial classes. They didn’t gain anything by doing that. I would absolutely “pass it forward.”
Also this is against a former teacher, maybe he was a terrible kid and the teacher got mad at him for a reason.
That banker guy should not have a position of authority at all. He still thinks like a child.
How the fuck do you know that regardless of who was looking at the mortgage application they would have been rejected anyways due to not being able to meet the criteria? And op had the privilege of being the one who said no.
Now who thinks like a fucking child, you fucking dork.
As someone who was bullied, and who still has flashbacks and triggers from it… Yeah I would try to forgive them, but I’m not going to feel bad about delivering some consequences.
Like I’m glad that you grew as a person but the injured party should decide if the person who inflicted the injury gets a free pass. And either way they’re 100% correct.
But I guess whoever bullied you was another kid doing it over and over? Not a teache that made you cry during a school trip one day.
No you just have a light taste of revenge in your heart and are trying to justify it any way you can. I was bullied too up until my sophomore year of highschool starting in kindergarten so I’m no stranger to being bullied. All because of a disease I had.
I suspect the story in the tweet is fake so probably don’t need to worry about the wellbeing of this hypothetical teacher.
There’s a mixing context though. If they’re unapologetic (before needing something) about it? Fuck em. If they’ve made amends and then you just do happen to be in a position of power? _That’s_when forgiveness is appropriate.
Animals forgive
My cat certainly seems to have forgiven me for all the times I made him move, at least.
He’s playing the long game, he’ll feast on your corpse after he suffocates you in your sleep.
Some people deserve forgiveness, some do not.
I think we all cheer because we interject the ones we know that do not deserve forgiveness.
Fuck bankers
This reminds me of the simpsons when Lisa learns what kind of life her teachers live so she decides to be much nicer to these people who spend so much of their days with children sacrificing to a life of service and little thanks.
But you’re the opposite.
Face it: kids can be a lot. Sometimes you got to own that you were the little shit in someone’s life sometimes.
Children can’t be held to the standard of adults. Teachers certainly should be paid more but if you can’t handle working with kids teaching might not be your gig.
To normal people: be nice to kids because they need the support and encouragement to grow into stable adults with a healthy sense of self worth.
To the selfish people: be nice to kids because you never know when you might need their mercy in the future.
For people: be nice to kids because you later need them to pay your “elderly money”
Have you seen what kind of people a spoilt child turns into? It’s tyranny. That’s not a selling point.
It says a lot about you that your takeaway from my comment was that being kind and encouraging to kids is spoiling them.
I’m all for pettyness in most cases… but uhh. This is a bit much don’t ya think?
No quarter to people who treat children like shit.
Not really, this is the future they built for themselves. And less debt when they’re likely on a fixed income might be a hidden blessing.
Being responsible for an emotionally volatile teenager on a field trip 13 years ago shouldn’t mean they deserve to be homeless, what?
Life is about the little things
I’d like to know more context. Without it, it makes the poster seem like a traitor.
You don’t get to choose. The numbers go into a spreadsheet. An answer comes out.
Yeah, my reading of this is that this poster took particular personal satisfaction from denying an application, but it didn’t cross my mind that there was any element of actual control or decisionmaking.
It’s like when someone cuts you off and then crashes their car. You didn’t cause the crash, and a crashed car is a much more severe punishment than simple rudeness would deserve, but you can still derive satisfaction from the sequence of events.
That is definitely not true. But that’s not the context I meant.
agreed and affirmed but since we’re here, fuck banks
If I had it I’d share it!
I’ve never heard the phrase swings and roundabouts used this way.
Usually it means two things are similar so you don’t really have strong feelings either way.
what goes around comes around. things swing one way and then another.
Ok, but I’ve never heard the phrase used that way.
Sometimes you are on the recieving end of the shit winds, sometimes you are the bellow.
Maybe that’s what they are saying? They impartially judged the application, without strong feelings. Ironically.
Totally IMO.
Like whopsie not a biggie (for both stories, ironically ofc).
That’s not what swings and roundabouts means though. Like, not even remotely. It’s also not what I said.
two things are similar so you don’t really have strong feelings either way.
Acceptance or rejection, no strong feelings either way.
I cant believe i need to point this out but, acceptance is not similar to rejection.
Yes, that’s not the point.
i’m still not getting it. “swings and roundabouts”
But he’s also sometimes credited with popularising, or even inventing, the phrase ‘swings and roundabouts’, meaning ‘a situation in which different actions or options result in no eventual gain or loss.’ In other words, ‘it’s all much of a muchness’. Chalmers used this phrase – and the accompanying sentiment or meaning – in a poem titled ‘Roundabouts and Swings’, which was first published in Chalmers’ volume Green Days and Blue Days in 1912. The original poem is interesting not least because it cleverly employs existing expressions (round and round, up and down) to describe the pattern of financial profit and loss experienced by the travelling man. In doing so, and in using the symbols of the roundabouts and the swings to reinforce this sense of gain and loss, the poem arguably helped to bring the phrase to a wider audience
And that is several square millimeters of cerebral cortex that you no longer have available for other patterns.
nice. guess i coulda looked it up. not a fan of the poem though.
It’s similar to “what goes around, comes around”, since swings and roundabouts go back to the same place.
As in: If you mock someone one day, they might mock you back another day.
That’s my point though. “swings and roundabouts” doesn’t have the same meaning as “what goes around comes around”. At least I didn’t think it did.
I’ve always known it to mean the same thing as “potato potAHto” or “six of one, half dozen of the other.”
I.E. “What’s the difference between saying “potato potAHto” and “six of one, half dozen of the other.”?” To which I’d say, “Meh, swings and roundabouts.”
You know, we’re all coming at this like ‘wow this person is stupid and hateful, saying swings and roundabouts when they meant what goes around comes around’, but what if they actually just said it in a ‘c’est la vie’ kind of way? Like ‘well you made me sad and I made you sad. Such is life.’ Especially when you add the context of how they probably HAD to refuse said mortgage application instead of exercising leeway to do so.
i am definitely guilty of being a jerk but I thought it was a thing about discriminating against queer/trans?
lol the pettiness of some people
We don’t know that was why they denied it, this could be shadenfreud (sp?) because they would be denied regardless.
At least I choose to believe that, because I can’t imagine being petty enough to do that.
„Schadenfreude“
Gesundheit
Schraderbräu, got it.
I exclusively drink She-Wolf
Actually it is called “Scheidenfreude”.
freudenscheidue
Vorlaut, aber gut
I assume that was the case because it isn’t really a human decision anymore. Whether a mortgage application is accepted or denied is based on the decision of a computer, the human just informs you the computer’s decision.
Usually, one feels Schadenfreude when something bad ‘just’ happens to somebody else, like Karma, but not due to ones own actions.
Not really. The best example of Schadenfreude (imo) is when you follow a sports team (probably not too many of you here on Lemmy), whenever the rival team loses you feel Schadenfreude. There doesn’t have to be any kind of ‘just-ness’ to it, actually if the rival team losses unjustly (played better, but were unlucky) the Schadenfreude is actually greater.
Of course there are times when something bad finally happens to someone that deserves it and you feel joy from it, but I wouldn’t call that Schadenfreude, more like ‘Vergeltungsfreude’.
While ‘Schadenfreude’ literally translates to the joy of damage, ‘Vergeltungsfreude’ would translate to the joy of retribution. Source: my German ass
And then you exclaim: “Haha, du Schaf!”
Du. Du Schaf. Du Schaf Mich!
Very good. Now do your Duolingo. *patpat* Off you go.
Upps. Aber: ja.
;)
Is there a fun German (or any other language) word for taking delight in the pain of others when it totally is their fault, and their fault alone?
FAFÖ
That’s at least one case of Schadenfreude.
The phrase “play stupid games, win stupid prizes”?
Sadism?
At least I choose to believe that, because I can’t imagine being petty enough to do that.
Have you met people?
The best revenge is living well.
Right? “Made me cry on a school trip” (for reasons that I’m sure we’re totally out of line on the teacher’s part and omitted just for brevity’s sake)
I dunno, some teachers are sadists too proud or ugly for a career path more in line with their personality.
Dawn, imagine being so ugly that there is no career path that is in line with your personality available.
They can just become POTUS
I’m thinking about the teachers I had in school and trying to work out what they would be doing if they couldn’t have been teachers.
Some of them definitely would have worked in HR. Being the teacher was their access to a world of petty vindictiveness where they were absolute rulers and could do whatever they wanted.
several of the teachers at my school were retired lawyers or other professionals. Most were there with masters and by choice. (Public school, for the record). Not everyone’s district pays them so little
Oh my god, yes. Your best victory is the victory of succeeding at something and moving the fuck on with your life if you can. People are shitty. Our environment is shitty. It is what it is. Keep trucking. I am a product of my environment, but I can control some of it. In my opinion, chasing your goals, time and distance is a solution for all social ills. Well maybe not all but I mean shit you gotta try
The best victory is watching them suffer as they made you.
The best victory is watching them suffer as they made you.
This type of thing is the nominal purpose of credit scores, I believe. (Whether they’re implemented effectively is another story…)
They didn’t say that’s why they rejected them. Maybe they’d be rejected either way, they just got to be happy about it.
How do people even remember names for so long?
had a teacher traumatize and humiliate me for four years.
I contemplated suicide at 12 years old.
Luckily I found strength in my spite and hatred for her to push forward.
last I heard, her husband died of colon cancer, she lost the farm and her house, and her only son turned out to be gay (they were “Christians”).
I still remember her nasty mustache and shitty attitude, and will always remember her.
I’m doing good in my life, better than her.
there’s only one other person who I hate more and I’m eagerly waiting to toast to their deaths.
they are literally the only people I could never forgive.
before you pass judgment ask yourself this, "who tells a bullied overweight 12 year old who is clearly having home problems that they need to ‘lose some weight’ and they won’t ‘be so fat’. ‘who knows, you might not be such a loser like your father.’
There’s been exactly one school shooting in my country. Teacher bullied a kid whose father was a strict army man. Gave him worse grades on purpose knowing he’d have to run 20 km home for it, etc. So one day he went to school with a gun and shot that one teacher and nobody else. So that’s what a shitty teacher (and a shitty father) can do to a child.
Wasn’t my hometown but I knew people who went to the same school at the same time. Nobody condoned the murder, but people did see where he was coming from.
Y’all need to stop carrying so much unresolved anger and learn to carry out elaborate revenge plots instead.
❌ Unresolved Anger
✔️ Resolved Anger
we didn’t hear the part about how that teacher lost the farm due to an elaborate revenge plot where they gave the husband colon cancer and seduced the son
I’m letting the rage boil until I can no longer fight the urges to commit heinous atrocities 😎
Trauma sticks with a person.
Not weird to me. I still remember every single teacher’s name to this day…I started school in 1978.
That’s pretty impressive. I started school in 1973 and I can remember a couple of teachers’ names at most.
That’s very amazing memory. I keep forgeting shit all the time. I sometimes forget the names of a characters of a TV show that I’ve been binge watching for the past few hours.
Some people, especially teachers, burn in your memory.
I had a same"ish" thing with a teacher who tried to flunk me but failed at his own math. Funnily the guy who couldnt count and divide gave general economics, business economics and business administration. He hated my guts and I his.
Anyway, My average was a 8.5, he gave me a 3 for an oral exam thinking he flunked me as it was half of the total average before the written exams. He Glee fully shared my grade with the class. I reminded him as emotionless as I could that 8.5+3=11.5/2=5,75 so still a pass. And with the written exam on the horizon, which I would not screw up because I was good at it and he would be unable to screw me over on it because written exams are checked by several other teachers as well…
He just lost it. He bursted in flames, started raging and kicked me out of all his classes for the rest of the year. This was in december/January, the exams where in may.
Naturally I passed all his classes with even the highest grades of the school for the written exams. It was very clear to every one he tried to fuck me over when seeing the grades.
Every teacher congratulated me. Asking me how the f i did that without any lessons. Except he. He saw me at the exam presentation, got all red and just fucking left.
I laughed at the loser he was. I still remember the law prof smirking as well over the situation. And his name i cant remember. But this guy who tried to fuck me over because he just didnt liked me… his name is burned in my brain forever.
And I remember all this to this day. This was in 1994. What an ass that guy was. It was also my first experience that most Adult people are not honest. And that them being nice is mostly a charade. And they will fuck you over for looking the wrong way or especially for a small percentage.
Every teacher congratulated me. Asking me how the f i did that without any lessons.
Man, I hope you told the other teachers that attending his lessons would have had no impact on the test results anyways.
“Name every teacher”
Kindergarten - Mrs. Gall 1st - Ms. Voght 2nd - Ms. Lenahan 3rd - Ms. Piper 4th - Ms. Noda 5th - Mr. Kramer (Cramer?) Orchestra - Mr. Graves
6th & onward gets tricky because we switched teachers for each subject and had different ones every year. That list would get really long, and be highly boring to type out (and probably to read as well).
I only remember the names of two teachers.
The one that set fire to the science classroom, and thus became a legend. And the utterly horrible one that hated kids and should not have been allowed to become a teacher.
All the others have just faded into the background because they were neither fun nor memorable.
Yeah, my 9th grade chemistry teacher, Mr. Kavall, should not have been working with children. Possibly being a drill sergeant might have suited him better.
I remember all my teacher’s names from preschool through high school, is that strange?
No, I can as well.
Highly so
I can barely remember the names of my close friends from elementary and middle school. Can’t remember all of them. Only reason I can remember the high school friends is the yearbook, and I’ve still forgot half of them.
You get what you give. Don’t become the monster. A real class act would just dangle it in front of them and then just approve it anyways. Like removed I’m over it, I don’t give a fuck. You’re just a dumb ass speed bump.
Maybe the mortgage application was just not within approval guidelines. It is not like a bank clerk gets to arbitrarily decide by personal sympathy.
Why would you assume this worthless dumbfuck is a bank clerk?
Where else do you get mortgages?
I mean, technically you can contract a mortgage between any two legally able persons.
But I’d say a mortgage between private individuals is a rare exception.
Usually it is bank/credit unions, or corporations specializing in mortgages as their primary business. But I think you can lump most of those under the umbrella term. At least as far as their employees being able to just approve or deny you for personal reasons.
The person who runs these things is not the clerk. There is no implication that they were the clerk in the transaction. They could be, but that’s not implied at ALL. No matter how many worthless shitbags downvote the truth.
Being a class act is extremely overrated. People should get what they have coming
Why not both? Give people who deserve it grace and be the bigger person and burn those that don’t to the ground.
Of course, if you find out that they did deserve grace later, you’ll need to destroy the biggest monster of all, yourself.
Pft, like I’m ever wrong!
There are some teachers I had who were absolutely bad people, but honestly, they are teachers and you are not. You already have the best revenge.
You’re going to send your kids to these schools. And as we start lowering the bar more and more, we’re going to have some very anti-social human beings around people’s children. And those children are going to become citizens in our society. Hurt people, hurt people, in which they shouldn’t. You should break the cycle and overthrow kings. There is a reason why things are the way they are. And if not aware, you can become a product of your environment.
