A skilled vet could still save this pig!
Lmfaoooo
Cooked via suggestion
Sausages are still oinking a little
Don’t be ridiculous. Where would they get sunlight in England?
They’d steal it from the Irish and the Scots, just like everything else.
We already did. That’s why they’re both permanently shrouded in cloud.
Savagest comment thread
The hog penises definitely were cooked with sunlight.
Brekkele is hessian German for vomiting
This is not a full English due to the following issues or errors:
- Fried eggs are ideal, poached acceptable, and some oddballs like scrambled. Boiled egg is not acceptable. There should be two eggs as standard, more if the breakfast is a ‘large’.
- It’s missing baked beans, which should have been simmered until the sauce thickens into a syrup.
- While cafes love to serve this kind of tomato that’s only because it’s easy to keep a pot of chopped, tinned tomatoes warm. If you’re going tinned, they should be good quality whole plum tomatoes. But well-grilled fresh tomatoes are preferable. No cherries. No vine attached. Definitely no raw tomato.
- It’s missing the black pudding which elevates the humble fry-up into the glory that is a proper full English.
- Experienced afficionados of the full English almost all prefer cooked sausages over raw ones.
- The mushrooms look like they came in a tin. Ideally whole field or chestnut mushrooms shoud be used.
- There seems to be a lack of hot buttered toast (with optional marmelade).
There is hearty debate amongst the governing body of the full English about whether or not hash browns are acceptable on a breakfast. Many declare them to be unwanted compared to, for example, bubble and squeak or a tattie scone, or even fried potatoes, or a fried slice for that matter. They go further and label them ‘trash browns’, ‘American nonsense’, or just ‘shite’. Personally I don’t mind them, and consider them to be an optional addition, but not a core requirement of the full English. There are many other optional additions, not to mention regional specialities which render an Ulster fry very different to a full Welsh or a full Scottish. Hogs pudding, white pudding, fruit pudding, haggis, Lorne sausage, potato farl, soda bread, laverbread, kidneys, etc.
There is also a hugely spirited disagreement over the serving of baked beans. There are, by-and-large, three schools of thought with regards the beans (not counting those poor,deluded fools who don’t like them). Firstly there’s the ‘put the beans in a pot’ faction who are scared of bean juice contaminating other ingredients. Secondly there are those who eschew the ramekin, considering them to be one of the ultimate signs of pretention. They insist that the beans should be on the plate, but segregated from the other ingredients by a barrier of sausages. Lastly, there is the sane and balanced group who believe that the beans should be put on the plate with no barrier, ideally in the middle. This group of illuminated Full Monty enjoyers recognise that the mixing of bean juice, tomato juice, and egg yolk forms the most perfect gravy of the gods. I, myself, am in the latter camp.
I am available for for keynote speeches on the subject should anyone be organising a full English conference.
I think that a full english isn’t an exclusionary meal. I think there are a few factors it needs to be in the category of full english but that there are many variations and additions or subtractions that still count.
In my opinion the only things required for a full english are any 4 of the following:
- fried eggs
- sausages
- bacon
- beans
- toast
Anything less is not “full” and anything more is a variation of the full english.
Hash browns? Sure! ulsterfry? Go for it! Mushrooms? Absolutely! Tomatoes (grilled of course) yes please! Black pudding (not for me) bring it on!
But there is no singular thing that makes it a full english, it just has to have enough of the core ingredients to meet the criteria.
What you describe is a mere fry-up. The required ingredients of a full English are eggs, bacon, sausage, black pudding, beans, and tomato. Six perfect ingredients.
There’s nothing wrong with a fry-up, mind you. But it’s not a full English without the six.
Historically there is no set version of a full english. What you describe is just your version. It will be, entirely, a social construct. This is why the full english varies so much, its different traditions in different areas and families being passed down, giving everyone a different vision of what it is.
Its similar to how everyone has their own christmas traditions, or how fish and chips in the north tend to be more traditionally served with gravy mushy peas and bread+butter. Whereas in the south, typically, they are sold with just ketchup or mayonnaise. But again, not exclusively. They only requirement is a fash and some chips. Everything else is just a variation of that but still counts.
This is why i belive that there only needs to be a few core ingredients for a full english to qualify as a full english. After that its all tradition and preference.
Well, you’re very welcome to continue enjoying your fry-ups.
And you are very welcome to enjoy your specific version of a full english. 😀
Love that you took the time to write this out as a comment on a shitpost. That’s dedication!
Some things matter!
Considering the quality of the cooking points to it being committed by an American black pudding likely wasn’t available as it’s illegal in the United States.
Are you sure?
Wikipedia tells me blood sausages are available in Puerto Rico, Wisconsin, Maine, Michigan, the San Francisco Bay Area, Fresno, Santa Rosa, and of course, Cajun Louisiana.
Should be illegal everywhere
Not really it’s delicious. And eaten in one form or another in all parts of the world.
🤢
I’m guessing you’ve never tried it. It’s a glorious food stuff and the full English is its perfect context.
Accurate, meat is universally gross
A strong position to take on a post about a full English.
Veggie versions abound, though, replacing pork sausages with Glamorgan sausages and bacon with halloumi or some such. And you can get vegan black pudding too, though I’ve never tried it. A good veggie version is fine eating.
Once you go full vegan though, it gets a bit harder since you also need to fake the eggs (and I’ve only heard of people doing tofu-based scrambled ‘eggs’) and faking or swapping out the bacon and the sausages and the black pudding so by that stage I’d be wondering why I was trying to recreate such a meat forward meal.
The lack of beans and black pudding is especially egregious. If England is giving up on free speech they could at least go after these faux english breakfast frauds.
You definitely need the sausage to act as a breakwater
A long time ago I was in old Blighty for the first time for work and the locals took care of me foodwise. I remember getting all the usual “English food is terrible” remarks before going and I didn’t know any better so I was worried when I arrived.
Everything was delicious, I loved all of it. The full English especially, that could power you through supper.
You rarely have a full English followed by a heavy lunch. More likely a heavy nap.
Or a light cardiac arrest.
This is poetry. If you ever do a Ted talk please let me know.
The black pudding doesn’t sound appetising. My grandma never made. We would have weetabix some mornings.
It might not sound appetising but it tastes great. Try it sometime. And in a full English is where it’s best with a little egg, beans and tomato. Lush.
I love a loaded breakfast, especially before working in the garage or hauling things around.
Some people don’t seem to appreciate a hearty meal. How sad.
The utter lack of seasoning make me think this is authentic.
Heat is classified as a seasoning now.
Didn’t use enough of that either. Only the bacon looks like it has seen a grill or pan.
I mean, it kind of can be
The seasoning is the bacon grease this all cooks in. Besides salt and pepper for the egg, that’s generally all this needs.
a worrying amount of people seem to only consider habanero peppers as flavourful, anything else is unseasoned
Those are typically college kids who still don’t know how to cook
What sort of seasoning would you require on sausages or mushrooms…?
Salt on mushrooms, herbs on sausages.
Those look like canned champion mushroom, they have salt in them in my experience. What sort of herbs would you put on the sausages?
I understand that the shrooms in a full English are usually just this way, but literally speaking you can season the shit out of mushrooms with all sorts of flavorings.
The place we used to get breakfast (they had a big breakfast with double everything!) started putting herbs in the mushrooms. Absolute shite and ruined them.
You can but often you don’t because they’re delish as is
Always can add some brown sauce.
You sick evil bastard!
Thats a good roast.
Come on, that’s a Full English Breakfast, not a Roast.
DONT RUIN MY DOUBLE ENTENDRE WITH YOUR TRUTHS AND FACTS
I’m not English but I thought there should be toast and beans. The sausage looks anemic.
Yeah, what is with that sausage? It looks absolutely disgusting.
Also not British… Boiled egg? 🤔
Fried egg is more common, no idea why they did boiled
Seems like something they’d do.
No one talking about a Fucking boiled egg?
That alone indicates the trolling nature of the post.
nah probably cooked with a hair dryer
They placed it under the car with the engine running for five minutes
that’s even more specific, I love it lol
And it’s an EV
Boiled, I’d assume
I see no problems with cooking meals with sunlight. (…as we say here in the solarpunk instance)
However, I do see the practical limitations what comes to attempting to cook meals with sunlight in the UK. I have heard the weather is often not favourable.
as we say here in the solarpunk instance
brand new sentence
i mean the thing with clouds is that they largely just scatter the sunlight, and i’m pretty sure i’ve seen a reflector design specifically for that situation which works remarkably well.
You need a lot of mirrors and/or lenses to cook something using sunlight. Unless you’re in Arizona, then just stick your skillet out the window.
Yeah with good luck you could have enough energy, but… who’s gonna ever rely on the sun being available when you’re hungry?
Solar panels, sure, as they’re there all the time, and not just when youre hungry.
But solar cooking, yeah, not so much at these latitudes
