Flattening also means that you can thaw the beef quicker when you want to cook … and in terms of body parts, it’s better to use a barrel of acid to dissolve the evidence.
Do you know how expensive a whole barrel of acid is?
Cheaper than trying to hide body parts for longer than a week … why are we discussing what to do with human body parts?
…no reason.
Which reminds me, I have to go clean my freezer … and check on my barrel of acid.
… who said anything about the body parts being human?
ಠ_ಠ
They’re spare parts for when mine fail.
Do you know how expensive a criminal conviction is?
Evidence? I’m eating them. What do you think the freezer is for?
Don’t use an acid for mammalian necromass. I hear that NaOH should be a good degreaser…
That or pigs apparently. If you already have the body in parts, don’t put in the freezer for your mom locate. I hear the best thing to do is feed them to pigs. You got to starve the pigs for a few days, then the sight of a chopped-up body will look like curry to a pisshead. You gotta shave the heads of your victims, and pull the teeth out for the sake of the piggies’ digestion. You could do this afterwards, of course, but you don’t want to go sievin’ through pig shit, now do you? They will go through bone like butter. You need at least sixteen pigs to finish the job in one sitting, so be wary of any man who keeps a pig farm. They will go through a body that weighs 200 pounds in about eight minutes. That means that a single pig can consume two pounds of uncooked flesh every minute. Hence the expression, “as greedy as a pig”.
Actually, you could let the pigs it all, lock, stock, and barrels, and then use a healthy dose of lye (that’s the NaOH from before) to treat the pigs’ shit for any left over solids. I’m not much of a chemist, but I do reckon that you’re left with any identifiable pieces after that ordeal.
Dya like dags?
But acid gooped body parts don’t taste as good.
How do you feel about lye? Seems to clean the organic crap better. For metal I use sulfuric. ?
Have you tried sulfuric acid on organic matter? Found some H2SO4 when I was a kid and began pouring it on stuff. Plants and chicken shit were really good for an orange cloud… Don’t stand down wind
Pro tip: Use the cheapest bags to maximize plastic consumption!
Meat = body parts, so techinically not even a joke.
I know the joke is human parts…
Sure it is buddy, sure it is.
But hamburger is body parts?
Their body my parts
I think this comment made me vegan
Get well soon 🙏
I mean they will be healthier, less likely to get cancer or heart disease so…yes, they will get well soon.
Once you get more into the hobby, a standard freezer is going to fill up fast. The real pro move is investing in a dedicated chest freezer out in your storage shed.
Walk-in meat freezers are becoming quite affordable these days for the serious hobbyist.
I disagree. I got one once and it cost me an arm and a leg.
You should buy second hand. It gives you a legs up.
You can easily build your own with a device that lets you use a window AC to cool
I kinda do this with turkey
Goes on sale after big holidays, and I buy 5-8 whole tuekys for like $1/lb. Portion them all and freeze them. It replaces chicken for the entire year.
Do you portion it raw or cook first?
I haven’t tried to butcher a raw turkey before, but the idea is tempting.
As a young boy and teenager, I grew up hunting Canada geese with my family a lot growing up. We’re Indigenous and it was common every spring to butcher about 100-120 geese every spring. We were able to kill much more but dad limited us to this amount because beyond that, it was just too hard and difficult to butcher this many animals and store them properly. We used the entire animal - meat for eating, bones for tools/crafts, feathers for stuffing blankets and pillows and wing feathers for crafts. The heads were eaten too and every bit of meat, sinew, brain, edible part eaten. Feet boiled into stew. Gizzard, heart, lungs roasted for quick eating while butchering everything else. Intestines were consumed only if people were starving which we never were so they were just thrown to our hunting dogs. And in terms of butchering, mom was a skilled with a knife and a bird, she knew the anatomy like the back of her hand and could separate the bones from the meat and leave a rack of whole attached bones with a whole single slab of meat and skin. Then continue slicing the meat slab until she turned it into a continuous single sheet of meat and skin about four or five feet long, then that was draped over a smoking fire for a day or two and we got smoked goose that could be stored for several months. The deboned carcass was smoked alongside and once that was smoked, everyone took their time and picked away all the meat from the bone. She taught me how to butcher in the same way but I was never as skilled as her and my sisters at it.
My point is … once you do it two or three times, butchering a bird is not that hard once you figure out the anatomy, use a good sharp knife and how to do it. Most importantly, use a very sharp knife because contrary to popular belief, you are more likely to cut yourself with a dull knife because you’ll struggle more to make your cuts and thus hurt yourself.
I do it raw
Each breast in its own ziplock, drumsticks in a ziplock, 2 wings in a ziplock, dark meat cube/peices for stir-fry in a ziplock. All organs in their own ziplock.
Doing turkey is really no different then whole chicken for portioning, just bigger. Technically it can be done in about 8-10 cuts.
Watch some chicken portioning videos, same method applies they are just longer cuts.
Dunno who this guy is but it’s this method https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=NVIdnpPqv8g
Edit: even the turkey breast can be butterflied in half for 2 ‘breasts’ per bag giving 4 portions of breast per bird. Depends on the meal I’m having really but I leave them whole until I go to cook.
Neat, thank you!
Give it to us raw, and wriggling!
Yeah but its turkey 🤮
It wild thaw much quicker too.
Someone’s been looking in my freezer(s).
I bought a small pack of hamburger at the grocery store once. Same foam tray but it just wasn’t overstuffed like so many are. The checkout girl, holding this, says of it “I don’t understand why they underpackage it like this.” and I say “Well some of us are bachelors and will only eat a pound of burger before it goes bad.”
I think the young people enjoy it when I get down verbally, don’t you?
that reminds me of OHH THE FRENCH
A trick you can adapt is one my family often did with wild meat.
You freeze a big block of meat, beef or whatever you have. It doesn’t matter how big it is as long as it doesn’t have a bone in it.
When you go to use it, you bring out the entire frozen block and you just shave off slices like a block of wood with a big carving knife or butcher blade. Sometimes mom would just a very sharp axe if the block was too solidly frozen. Then once you got enough of what you needed, you wrap up the frozen block and put it back again. This method allows you keep a large frozen block and use it again and again without have to wait to thaw the whole thing. You only carve off what you need for the meal and then keep the rest frozen. The thin shavings of meat are quick to cook and don’t need thawing.
“By hamburgers in bulk and flatten”
Just buy some mince and learn how to cook
Had to look this up, because I’d seen it before but didn’t want to accuse Americans of being crazy without proof:
https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/hamburger
1 a: ground beef
1 b: a patty of ground beefThe meme says singular “hamburger”, so it makes sense that they meant it in the ground beef sense. Every other dictionary starts with “a patty of ground beef” by the way, so it seems to be an American peculiarity.
If like to see the reaction of every Italian when they realize bolognese and lasagne are made out of hamburger according to Americans
Well, that explains the name “hamburger helper”. I’ve been wondering what they had in common with hamburgers besides the ground beef.
Americans… answer why. This is not on.
I don’t know what to tell you guys, hamburgers are made of hamburger, and mince sounds gross.
No it says “buy hamburger” as in hamburger meat. Ground beef.
Who has time to cook when there is prostitute murdering to be done?
Learning to cook prostitutes, tell you when I’m done?
If you murder a prostitute make sure you pay them first so you’re not shoplifting too.
Only commit one crime at a time.
Good advice! Also be sure to get a receipt.
Make sure to use every part though. Prostitute stock is the best.
I remember not living above a grocery store. Don’t miss those days one bit
What do I do with the rest? Eat it like normal, just without the meat? D:
Then later make the patties for hamburgers? Chaotic, not sure where in the scale of evil.
I didn’t realize this wasn’t universal until upthread, but Americans refer to all ground beef as hamburger or hamburger meat.
This does work and is an okay lifehack, I guess, but it does add potential contamination risks and the packaged hamburger is already pretty stackable.
If you buy hamburger in bulk you get a better price, but once you open that package you have to either use it all at once (not easy for every household) or watch the leftovers go bad unless you portion out and freeze it like this.
And use a large cookie cutter on the frozen slabs to make hamburgers. Bonus because they’re pre-smashed.
Honestly a superior storage idea.
