I can’t read these comics without being reminded of a character in Community reading “Warren Piece”
we enshrined his torture and put it literally everywhere. you think that might have anything to do with it?
“you think if JFK comes back he wants to see sniper rifles everywhere?”
Well people said if he comes back he’s going to slaughter all of us, maybe making him afraid to come back is the point? Haha
It’s not like all humankind suffers and he is a relatable representation of our own suffering. Kind of like Iron Man or other heroes.
Look, if they did that to Jesus they will do the same or worse to you without batting an eye.
Well, Iron Man was crucified for our sins.
As was James T. Kirk.
Iron Man had the best last words of the three.
#Jesusdiditfirst
It’s so interesting to see reactions of horror triggered by a mention of kindness suddenly putting one’s own actions into perspective.
More like “what didn’t we do?”
Am I right?
Like 90% of what he told us to do, for starters.
Jesus: “Love one another.”
Everyone else: “We’re gonna kill that son of a removed.”
That 10% is doing a lot of work here
A press conference with aliens? I don’t think so. They’ll be killed and get a very detailed autopsy as soon as they put their feet on the ground
Then I hope they have no feet! 🤪
Unless we were threatened with overwhelming power.
I feel I’ve seen this exact joke in an SMBC or something several years ago
Even more similar than I remembered!
The joke has been around a while, so they probably have made the same joke.
That joke’s been around since 1750 BC
Tell Ea-nasir: Nanni sends the following message:
When Jesus came, Jesus said to you as follows : “I will return when the time is right.” Jesus left then but has not yet returned to you as promised. Now you look to my messenger (Sit-Sin) and ask: “Why, then, has Jesus not returned?”
What do you take me for, that Jesus would not return to me after visiting? Would you treat somebody like Jesus with such contempt? I have sent as messengers gentlemen like ourselves to invite Jesus to return several times, and that through enemy territory. Is there anyone among the merchants who trade with Telmun to whom Jesus has not returned?
You alone ask why this is so! Take cognizance that (from now on) Jesus shall exercise against you the right of rejection if you have treated him with contempt. How did you treat Jesus when he visited?
Translated from the original Akkadian: https://knowyourmeme.com/memes/complaint-tablet-to-ea-nasir (er… this is a joke btw)
Our world if Ea-nasir had sold good copper:
Top tier joke, mate.
Jesus ain’t coming back until people stop wearing crosses around their neck, scaring him away.
Jesus is a vampire?
I think they mean because Jesus was supposedly murdered on a cross, and then his followers wear said cross as a symbol of their love for him or some shit - which is honestly kind of weird.
You think that’s weird? They drink his blood and eat his flesh too.
I wouldn’t come back either
Zombie. Undead, eats flesh and blood, isn’t allergic to sunlight, infection spreads through contact. Zombie.
Inverse zombie. Living people eat his flesh.
To Francis from Left 4 Dead, there is no difference between a zombie and a vampire.
If I die, don’t let those bastards eat me!
There’s a sci-fi book series called Hyperion where one of the main fucuses of the far-future theocratic government is to search for signs and symbolism of Jesus on other planets. Since if you find an alien species worshipping Jesus or using cross symbolism, you’ve all but proven that God exists.
You will prove that one god exists?
Or even less, you will prove that someone with god-like powers exists?
Or even less, you will prove tat we live in a simulation written by some christian sect.
If all successful civilizations believe in something isomorphic to the Pythagorean theorem, then this is evidence that it’s real.
God works the same way.
Will be reading this if you think it’s worth it.
I’m a huge fan of classic sci-fi (Asimov, Heinlein). How does it hold up?
And before someone eats me alive about Heinlein, I’ve heard it all. Been a fan since I was a kid and the ideological side of it doesn’t matter to me as much as the stories these days. I’m an atheist because of authors like him. I wouldn’t take it back for anything.
The first book is phenomenal. The others are good, but not necessarily “must read”
It’s like The Canterbury Tales in space. It’s four books, but the first one stands on its own.
Strange to me to our Asimov and Heinlein in the same genre. That’s like when I start Spotify Radio from Cheryl Crow and get Metallica and Green Day because Spotify thinks I’m looking for “90s music”
They’re both definitely scfi and I have enjoyed all that I have read of them.
I will say, I haven’t read a lot of them since I was a teenager and I’m old now.
Still though, robots, moon people, mars people, dude being thrown from universe to universe.
It’s pretty clear to me why it’s the same genre.
If you like old school scifi you’ll probably like it. It’s a grand opera. Prolog to the first book is online here:
Hyperion was a fun read. Definitely recommend. I had a small book club and it was fun to talk about.
“This is my blood” was actually a miscommunication, he meant that the cup he was holding was his and it was full of blood he didn’t want to share.
Looool
Or aliens copied 3rd century Rome.
If y’all think Jesus is so good you should meet his hermanito lupe.
TBF, his (hypothetical) dad planned the whole thing.
Yes, but only because he knew our nature, and still wanted to love and forgive us, despite being quite unforgivable.
Sure. That fucker wants to forgive us and he gets a pass. I want to love and forgive everyone and I wind up with a life sentence for murdering my son.
That’s your mistake.
You set up a situation in which he will end up being murdered by others.
Step 1: become a healthcare CEO
Step 2: deny defend depose
Step 3: profit
Thomson died for our spin
😬
You’ve got a strange definition of love. That sounds like manipulation to me.
Is god also jesus and the holy spirit all at once?
Ah, yes, the holy Trinity.
The only thing that made less sense than a virgin birth or resurrection.
It still doesn’t make sense. Like from a narrative view either. It doesn’t help the story, or the belief it’s just a useless… Thing?
a virgin birth
parthenogenesis – Jesus is a clone of Mary – which also make him canonically a trans man
the perfect push over the edge for the doubting christian in your life: was Jesus trans or was Mary an adulterer?
That’s all retconning.
Dude showed up with a message for peace, was murdered and his murder is celebrated. Literally, a bunch of people running around pretending that’s what he wanted. The propaganda is so strong that everyone just accepts it as fact.
It’s really not much different than claiming a women wanted to be sexually assaulted because of what she was wearing.
He is whatever you want them to be.
No! It can’t be!
What is it?
It can’t be!
What did you do Ray?
Oh no!
It’s the Stay-Puft Marshmallow Man.
deleted by creator
Yeah, but wait until you hear what these green guys did to Santa.
HO HO HO
Actually, he only cums once a year.
We killed God. And we’d do it again if given the chance.
Oh, I know a good chunk of this country seeing a brown skinned guy helping out the poor and being all woke and shit, would put him right back up on that cross.
God creates earth. God creates dinosaurs. God destroys dinosaurs. God creates man. Man destroys god. Man creates dinosaurs. Dinosaurs eat man. Woman inherits the earth.
Life, uh, finds a way.
Explanation: humans suck
